blu_antidote

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"currently coping: layout crisis"

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I Could've Been a Duck But I Guess I'm a Writer

Category: Life

I have a hard time getting my thoughts across simple words, or simply constructed sentences to be exact. Sentences that'll tell you my intentions, my feelings, in an instant. Maybe it's because writing feels entirely different and more complex than a conversation, where the context will usually be picked up in speed. Writing feels more confronting, as if every word you leave behind gawks down at y... » Continue Reading

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I Love You, But You Can Go (Come Back Soon!)

Category: Life

In just a few moments, my grandma will leave to return to my uncle's house, where she has been taking care of my other cousins since we were kids. I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy because they're not her only grandparents. I mean, what about me and my sisters? Are you like some Nanny McPhee who only stays where she's needed and leaves where she's not? Don't be selfish , I'd retort to mysel... » Continue Reading

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Maybe We'll Always Do Things Scared, And That's Fine

Category: Life

Today, I managed to lead a group call meeting without my wavering voice or self-defeating thoughts gnawing at my mind by the minute. Well, not at first. It'd be only five minutes left before I'm expected to start the call and I immediately faltered, palms cupping my hands in a torpedoing storm of doubts that I am just not qualified enough to lead them . But hesitantly, I embraced these thoughts. M... » Continue Reading

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