hey, heres just a quick thing to get to know me for the strangers here. i just turned 17, my birthday was on november 16th! i have been writing for ten years now and drawing for four. i am an autistic buddhist and need tone tags frequently--please be respectful and use them. my special interest is magical girl raising project, and my favorite arc from it is restart. my favorite character is cherna... » Continue Reading
hey sorry for my absence its been a wild week ok so like ive been having mouth pain for a few months and when it started my dentist shrugged it off and gave me a nightguard right but it didnt help and it was getting worse so i went back and he didnt even look this time before brushing me off again eventually it reached its peak at the worst pain ive ever felt (cue the online absence tending to my ... » Continue Reading
lately i’ve been feeling like no one wants to talk to me. i wonder if anyone would even speak with me if i wasn’t the one who approached them first. i have impulsive, unwelcome thoughts about stopping. not talking to anyone at all and seeing if anyone would even notice. they are not on the same level as my intrusive thoughts since they involve nothing violet or illicit, but they still upset me. i ... » Continue Reading
ive started writing to them in our dms. i know they wont see any message i send, but it makes me feel better. its the closest thing i have to a coping mechanism, cringe as it may be. sometimes i still check to see if theyre online, even though i know the answer every time. ive been sharing such personal things, expressed things ive never been able to say before. i wish someone was on the other sid... » Continue Reading
NEVER IN MY (insert number here i dont remember) YEARS OF BEING A MGRP FAN WOULD I THINK IT WOULD EVER BE POSSIBLE TO GET A RESTART ANIME BUT HERE WE ARE. A CRANBERRY GAIDEN COMING UP WITH NEW MAGICAL GIRLS AND THE ANIME DIRECTOR MAKIGN A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE???????? AND RESTARTS ANNIVERSARY JUST PASSING??????? IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE IT COULD BE A FLUKE BUT THIS IS CLOLSER THAN WEVE EVER GOTTEN ... » Continue Reading
Ever since she called me that, I've been considering just asking her for her brutally honest thoughts on me to see if I still want her around. I know that whether or not I do after her answer, I wouldn't do anything about it. Not after what we went through together. https://youtu.be/T495UA7ub0g » Continue Reading
its becoming harder to do these daily. theres just really nothing going on, or at least nothing i want to talk about. every day is the same. life can be so boring. its hard to find things to look forward to anymore. i have the cranberry gaiden next january, but after that? nothing i dont have ambition to do anything except sleep. i waste the time i spend awake anyways because i » Continue Reading
sorry i forgot yesterday nothing to report today heres some music tho https://open.spotify.com/track/15h9C2CLOJyNNdfNVFcp7m?si=7e266ee8e65e49c6 » Continue Reading
Lately I've been struggling with grief I've been suppressing for two years. Not over a death, but still over the loss of a loved one. Maybe it's the lack of closure that makes it hurt like this. Maybe all grief is the same, as I know I'll still never get to see them again. I'll never get to see their artwork or read their writing. They're gone for good, and I largely feel like its my fault. » Continue Reading
oops i forgot to write this anyway uhhhh its been an uneventful day i just kinda did homework and did chores and existed im thinking of stealing another mgrp characters name but like i have so many names already its like i hoard them or smth but cmon love lulu thats such an adorable name also love lulus name is technically written as ‘0 lulu’ (dont ask idk why its translated as love lulu) LL0 mayb... » Continue Reading
despite my complaints last night, today wasnt really as bad as i thought it would be. tutoring was a drag and i went back to sleep immediately after but things were fine. i was happy. but then of course a friend of a friend had to post something disgustingly horrible and triggering and ruin my whole day. i actually feel sick to my stomach. this is the second time such a fuckign awfl topic has been... » Continue Reading
remember how last time i said i thought i knew the reason i was in a much better mood last night than i have been? i think i was definitely right. but if i cant have both, whats better--to be happy or healthy? im not going to say what this is though. no one really knows its something im struggling with. anyways, todays been pretty busy. after five hours of sleep i went to go see » Continue Reading