little by little

ive started writing to them in our dms. i know they wont see any message i send, but it makes me feel better. its the closest thing i have to a coping mechanism, cringe as it may be. sometimes i still check to see if theyre online, even though i know the answer every time. ive been sharing such personal things, expressed things ive never been able to say before. i wish someone was on the other side, but i know thats practically impossible. i know im just talking to myself. but it helps. maybe one day theyll be able to read what ive been telling them.