"watching mpgis"
23, denver, they/them
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Category: Writing and Poetry
what a tragic story, where the mother is both the victim and the villain. she ran away with the evil king and slowly killed all the good parts of her that was left, and ruined herself doing it. ─────────────── she was so, so terrible but she was trapped in this awful marriage that she couldn't leave because she was so sick and she kept having children even though we all almost killed her and i cam... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
in a dream last night i saw my mother and her husband. they were in my apartment, taunting me. i screamed back at her, you just want to control everything i do, and i bet it fucking kills you that you don't get to anymore. and in the dream of course i meant that she was in my apartment and i pay my own bills, but reflecting now i think maybe she was trying to reach out to me. i have been begging ... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i want to live curled around the nostalgia of pinterest tongue curled around infinity swallowed the sky just to keep it trapped in my stomach, behind my ribs hold my breath in the deep end just to see need to soak in the sun to my bones salt lamps and lo-fi girl on the tv never sober, never sad, lights wobbling nausea rising, anime i watched when i was twelve the glittery champagne feeling of read... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
i am my mother's daughter. my mother was both the general and the enemy. i faced her down across the battlefield and had her instructions in my ear. all the guilt and fury that built when i couldn't swing back or fight fair spoiled in my veins. by the time i was old enough to, the war was over and it left me simmering and trigger-happy. my mother taught me to fight, to not pull my punches, by usin... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
it's awful. i am curled up in a little ball in a corner of my own mind sobbing. that's me. that's that little girl, sobbing, holding her. everything else is this awful, all consuming, miserable grief. it feels like having your skin stripped back from your muscle, exposed to the elements. i am not in control. this is the grief speaking. the grief is always speaking. » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
watching and feeling my body deteriorate around me is the most terrified i've ever been in my life. i got out of the bath last night and couldn't bend over to dry my legs without wincing. i don't remember the last time my back didn't ache so badly that walking feels like a chore. my hands shake and wither. i am a writer. how am i supposed to create if i can't use my hands? the arthritis gets worse... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i still keep polaroids of old friends i haven't spoken to in years tucked away in the back pockets of old wallets. i have never deleted a phone number from my contacts. i look at my snapchat memories every day, no matter how many years old they are. every single note i've ever received is still folded up in a notebook somewhere. (except for that one from you, that i regretted burning the second ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
grief is so hard. i've been grieving the loss of my mom for two years and i still don't know how i'll ever get over it. i've been grieving the loss of my mobility and ability to exist without pain for even longer. i'm exhausted and getting high all the time to deal with it. everyone wants something from me, whether it's sex or love or money or time and i don't have any left to spare. » Continue Reading
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