mona

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"feeding"

17, canada, working on dying.

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Mood: tired


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mona's Blog Entries

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snowstorm.

Category: Writing and Poetry

there’s something magical about being caught in the middle of a snowstorm. letting the whites of the ghosts in your eyes blend in with the falling of flakes whiter than the purest cocaine feeling the familiar cold against your ankles the nostalgic inability to feel your fingers except when the thorn bushes prick them red and bloody the age old breeze that fills your lungs with crisp, cutting wind ... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

interesting ways to describe anger.

Category: Writing and Poetry

feel it. the evil. enough to. make you. want to. peel off. your skin. enough to make you want to sever your tendons and tear off your muscles and free yourself from your anger. your hatred. your hatred is like a peg with no hole to fit into. constantly slamming on the walls of toys. wooden blocks weld by mono emotional toddlers with no motivation but desperation to watch the world get fucked by ob... » Continue Reading

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advice

Category: Writing and Poetry

you know that she doesn’t need you. and you can post this guilt free, because she will never read this. she doesn’t need you. remind yourself this every time you tell her you love her and she says “ok” in response. remind yourself this every time you listen to her rant and then sit in silence as she doesn’t care about your day enough to dig a little deeper. it’s not like she understands what alway... » Continue Reading

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untitled

Category: Writing and Poetry

you know that she doesn’t need you. and you can post this guilt free, because she will never read this. she doesn’t need you. remind yourself this every time you tell her you love her and she says “ok” in response. remind yourself this every time you listen to her rant and then sit in silence as she doesn’t care about your day enough to dig a little deeper. it’s not like she understands what alway... » Continue Reading

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you.

Category: Writing and Poetry

you had hands. you had hands of razor blades and leather. worn down by lighter sparks and shoplifted bracelets, covered in ash, dye, ink, and blood. you had arms. you had arms of moon rock, with canyon grooves. carved in crazed nights and days under fluorescent lights and tears with box cutters or pencil sharpener blades. lifting them would be like lifting weights. bands and bracelets cover inches... » Continue Reading

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— 1 Kudos

naiveté

Category: Writing and Poetry

i was so naive. i was so naive to wait for that rollercoaster when i knew i was too short to ride. like that rollercoaster would call me at 2am tonight, hah. i was naive to think that talking about bricks thrown and broken windows would bring you to my doorstep as if you were a cat who heard the shaking of food. no amount of singing or dancing or laughing i can do with you will take me back to whe... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

houses

Category: Writing and Poetry

i walked stalked through the suburbs. streetlight lit, illuminating the faintly glowing cigarette that i drew to my face evermore in times of sadness. looking upon familial homes. nice houses with nice people. probably with kids. and i am out of place a lonely, monochrome clad wanderer. a single speckle of grey paint in a painting of a rainbow. an accident, a mistake placed upon the world to being... » Continue Reading

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— 1 Kudos

self portrait

Category: Writing and Poetry

i start with my hair.   black as ash, filled with the same.  something to shade me from onlookers and those bewildered with me.  cracked lips, so ungraceful that a cigarette would feel shame to be brought to touch them.  improper to kiss, forever ungraced by such.  beard, filled with smoke.  armour against the cold wind that blows from these mountains i call home.  eyes like swamp water and death.... » Continue Reading

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— 4 Kudos

the wind

Category: Writing and Poetry

stepping in time to the tempo that drums in your head, you lick your lips and feel the cold in your teeth. the bitter, cutting wind. like thousands of tiny razor blades were laced in a summer breeze, a slice to cut you open. let it cut you open tonight. the burden of veins is never one that lasts long. everyone needs release. now is your time. open up. it’s okay. the wind will sweep the tears off ... » Continue Reading

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i can see my breath

Category: Writing and Poetry

benevolence has been abolished aborted buried my chest feels nothing but empty i am not like a corpse i am one my mind is numb my flesh rots my eyes are hollow my ribs hold nothing bones are marrowless skeletal wings sprout never sleeping always creeping silently but somehow still loud enough for hate taking the hate into me i am now what i was what i will be a fallen angel but instead of falling ... » Continue Reading

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— 3 Kudos

dew / frost

Category: Writing and Poetry

morning dew glistens as i throw rocks at your window. maybe today you will come to play in the morning dew. i throw a whole nights sleep at that window. i was up all day. up till 3AM. then i went home. you’re the only person on the block i talk to anyways, so it sucks when you won’t even ask to come outside. we could ride bikes, we could climb trees. we could catch frogs in the swamp. morning fros... » Continue Reading

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i am sand

Category: Writing and Poetry

there was a world, where i sat there forever and you never came. and you never showed up. and i smoked and i smoked my lungs away. i sat there in the rain and i inhaled and i exhaled and i died and lived a thousand times and i played guitar and i sang and i danced naked and alone in a field with water up to my kneecaps so cold i turned black. or there is the world where i was dead already, and i w... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

a deep rest

Category: Writing and Poetry

the creak of your soft breath on the floorboards one deep exhale of empty lungs, as long as december sunlight. your love slapping the rafters. almost purely memory, as i am carried along by the wind into the ocean. a soft hum of tension through painted speakers was it something i said? was it me all along? am i the reason the two of us are dying? my questions ring like pots and pans through an emp... » Continue Reading

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