DNI

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Yes, my DNI is long. Yes, I expect you to read it. If you don't want to, then please find and friend another similar SpaceHey user who has fewer boundaries than me.

Likewise, if you comment on anything I make publicly available and I am on your DNI, I will assume that replying to the comment you made is acceptable. I do not check people's DNIs before replying to comments they leave on my posts.

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I may end up unfriending you without saying anything if I disagreed with you on something, your presence turns out to be uncomfortable, and/or it turns out you were on my DNI and followed anyway. Please don't ask me why, as this will only end in debates in which neither of our minds will be changed. I will show you the same courtesy and not chase after you demanding answers if you decide you would have a better experience without me.

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Otherwise, I would rather you not interacted if you:

‡ are under the age of 18 ‡

‡ engage in abusive/pedophilic/incestous behaviors with real people/animals in reality ‡
‡ ship real people, or self-ship with real people (I do not consider having daydreams about a crush to be “self-shipping”) ‡

‡ harass people or support people or communities who do ‡

‡ participate in cringe culture, or would put me in a situation where this account is exposed to people who do ‡

‡ need me to tag me talking about my F/O as "unreality" ‡

✫ I talk about my F/O (Ford) as though he is real, albeit {in brackets} to denote that it's separate from the reality depicted in the rest of the post. ✫

✫ I won't tag it as "unreality" in much the same way that someone who likes marine life and makes that a large part of their online persona might not trigger-warn for the ocean. ✫

✫ This isn't because I dislike you if you need/want me to tag it, this is exclusively for your own wellbeing. ✫

‡ are conservative ‡

‡ support the actions of murderers/cult leaders/etc. ‡

‡ are against substance users/addicts (why would you even want to friend me if you were) ‡

‡ are a fascist, don't take fascism as a serious problem, and/or disagree in any way with silencing fascists ‡

‡ consider yourself part of the traumacore community ‡

‡ hate men (this includes demonizing maleness/masculinity/testosterone regardless of who experiences or is perceived to experience it, as well as not acknowledging the existence of transandrophobia) ‡

‡ hate women (this includes demonizing transfems and lesbians, including in your discussions of transphobia/transmisogyny/transandrophobia) ‡

    ‡ are a bigot of any kind (this includes exclusionists, who will not approve of how I talk about my identity, trauma, or relationships) ‡

    ‡ use bigoted rhetoric (e.g. asserting that queer is a slur without acknowledging the same is equally true of the words for all non-cishet identities, calling marginalized people "freaks" because they like or do things you don't, etc.) ‡

‡ use the word "pedophile" incorrectly (it refers to the literal sexual and/or romantic attraction to children but some people call things pedophilia that aren't that, and I have no patience for people who misuse very serious words because they don't like someone or don't understand the words they're using) ‡

‡ are against mspec/multigender gays/lesbians, auto/ficto/objectum-sexual/romantic people, detransitioners, polyamorous people, systems (including large and/or fictive-heavy ones), or lesboys (as I am or have friends who are in these demographics) ‡

‡ are anti-endo ‡

‡ are anti-kink (this does not mean that you have to be comfortable with every kink that exists, just that you don’t categorically condemn those who have them) ‡

✫ People who believe that ageplay equals pedophilia and petplay equals zoophilia are included on this part of the DNI. ✫

‡ think that kink is always sexual for everyone all the time ‡

    ‡ are against SFW age regression/pet regression/etc. (including being against people with kinks who practice agereg/petreg too) ‡

‡ are anti-recovery ‡

‡ demonize mental illnesses, including personality disorders (including ASPD, NPD, and BPD) ‡

‡ think you know me from anywhere else on the internet/Vent unless I gave you the link or I friended first ‡

✫ I'm using SpaceHey as a way to remake my account, put a chapter of my life behind me, and get a fresh start on social media, hope you understand! This DNI may change someday (especially for mutuals of people I am friends with), but this is how I feel for now. ✫

✫ Please do not ask me any questions about it, but feel free to remove me from Discord/Tumblr if you wish, as you have the right to curate your online experience as much as I have for mine. ✫

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For the purpose of other people’s DNIs:

I do not take a side on the proship/anti debate but I recognize that some people believe that having certain views or tastes means you’re “really” one side or the other and therefore wouldn’t want me interacting.

I won't respect your attempts to label me as a proshipper or an anti if I interacted with your post and you don't like it, but I will respect your comfort level and am therefore providing my stances publicly so if you don't want people who have certain opinions or tastes associated with the side you don't take, you can avoid me.

I don’t believe that the fictional content one consumes or produces says anything about their genuine morality. I keep my judgments to myself and don’t feel the need to harass people for making content I dislike.

Whether or not I personally ship anything problematic depends on how you define “ship” and “problematic”.

There are some abusive fictional relationships that interest me, both/either how they are presented in canon and/or in a reading of the relationship that views the relationship as closer/more romantic than canon.

Whether I enjoy a fanwork (e.g. a fic or drawing) for that relationship depends on the tone that fanwork takes. I do not enjoy fanworks that romanticize those relationships or present it as cute or aspirational. I prefer for fanworks about such relationships to take a darker tone. None of the things I could be said to have that constitute “problematic ships” contain incest or pedophilia, if that affects anyone’s comfort level.

I do not spend a lot of time thinking about my "ships", nor post about/create fanworks for any (non-self) ships, at all save for one that is not deemed “problematic” by myself nor the fandom.

This means that I do not create the kind of fanworks or posts that tend to be at the center of these debates. I have, though, created media and will in the future create more media that could be described as “problematic” due to containing violence and abuse.

I also have a self-ship (other than my main one) that, while I don’t believe is abusive, is nevertheless dark and unhealthy and that some may view as problematic for that reason. I have it for coping reasons and am so far yet to post about the darker aspects of it publicly, but I will tag them appropriately when I do (expect content warnings to largely include addiction and self harm).

If I’m not tagging something that someone needs me to, I’ll start tagging it upon request and potentially after discussion of how to best do so.

Part of the reason I do not prefer to take a side in the proship/anti debate is because I have issues with a debate about shipping being turned into a debate about fiction consumption in general.

I do not believe fandom (a specific social phenomenon related to media) nor shipping (a phenomenon within that phenomenon) are the only way to consume or enjoy media and believe that fandom and the behaviors associated with it should not be conflated with fiction in general. It does not help that much of the debate involves language that is either misused (e.g. “pedophilia”) and/or poorly-defined (e.g. “problematic”).