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Well then. Maybe a good chunk of you seeing this should read this.
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Funny how JUST as I picked up my laptop to type out a blog (with a YouTube video playing in the background), I opened SpaceHey and got a comment on one of my posts asking to make a blog- more specifically about warning signs of predators on the website. Good idea- not exactly something I wanted to type about, but I'll oblige anyway.
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Honestly, this post will also serve as an explanation for my recent lack of activity on SpaceHey. Here's why:
So, I log into SpaceHey basically every day. I like to take a gander at the recent blog posts because a) the top posts section is abysmal and b) I like to read more "organic" and genuine stuff from people who are passionate. Whether it is a blog post about something I'm interested in or a blog post about something I'm completely lacking knowledge in, it is fun to read genuine human writing with thought put into it, especially in this era of lack of literacy, lack of interest and rampant enshittification of literally everything. I love the website's creative and dedicated userbase, I love seeing blogs with wonderful and unique layouts- it is an amazing sight to behold.
However, this isn't a blog dedicated to praising the good side of the platform, but rather a blog dedicated to the bad side of the platform. I am likely guilty for being more of a pessimist and choosing to focus on the negatives, but the negatives on this website are... Pretty bad. So, let me try and section this blog into a couple of things.
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Predators and (not) interacting with them
Now, "predator" might be quite a broad term, but let's try to summarize it. A predator is anyone who tries to prey on and get something out of another user: money, pictures, account information and other things. Here is one blog post about my personal "predator" encounters on SpaceHey. Mind you, after I made this post, I've had at least two more interactions of a similar nature.
These individuals might seem generally harmless, but those who are less in-the-know might fall victim to these individuals' schemes. For those of you who do not want to read the previous linked blog and the blog included within, basically, these individuals try to get closer to you and scam you out of your money, asking to pay you an intriguing and attractive sum of money just for you to talk to them. They put minimal effort into their profiles, just to barely look like actual users, and then start to mass-add people and send them private messages with the same painfully dry scripted conversations. The best way to deal with these people is to either ignore them and block them, or troll the FUCK out of them and get blocked by them instead. Got nothing better to do? Waste their time- they don't deserve better than that, and you will feel at least a little bit of satisfaction.
Another piece of advice for you all, both minors and adults of the website: USE YOUR COMMON SENSE. See a person's profile and find something suspicious about them like their age, their interests (lots of weirdos will just outright post their inappropriate and weird interests and takes on their profile and wonder why they get banned or clowned on) or their friend list (some average guy adding only girls, or an adult adding lots of below-18 individuals)? Don't like them and think they're a threat to you or other people? Report and block. Occasionally, make a PROPER, SERIOUS blog post addressing the situation. For example, I've seen a couple of posts about that one guy who made his entire profile very cutesy and attractive and added and interacted exclusively with girls for his own inappropriate interests, like this one. Usually, if your gut feeling tells you something is suspicious and wrong, it is because it is.
Additional advice: got YouTube? Use it. Instead of speedrunning YouTube shorts as they say, consider watching some long-form videos about interactions with creeps and predators. Once you've seen enough of them, the telltale signs will become quite obvious to you and you will have a lot less trouble figuring out whether the person that's messaging you is normal or has ulterior motives. Giving you petnames/nicknames, acting strange, asking for pictures, ESPECIALLY if you are below 18? Block and run- do not engage.
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Why's this section so short? Because most of it is common sense. I implore you, no matter how lonely or desperate or curious you are, use your head- stranger = danger. You are online and, especially on SpaceHey, regulation and monitoring are scarce. You are not safe online, the internet is not your saferoom or mine, and it never will be. It is too Utopian and optimistic to believe that every single person both online and in-person will act according to the rules and be normal.
That being said, it is time to address the elephant in the room:
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SpaceHey/The Internet and YOU
Nobody is going to hold your hand or mine in life, much less online. The difference with the internet is that we all act very inappropriately online because we all believe that we are anonymous and that our usernames and profile pictures keep us and our thoughts and words shielded, permanently tucked away from prying eyes from behind the screen.
Because of that belief, many people, especially those who aren't doing very well, will use the internet- in this specific case, SpaceHey, as their outlet. On one hand, that's... A way to deal with one's issues. I've done it too, though I mostly private or delete most of my vent posts because I get embarrassed when I look back at them. Not something I want dragging itself behind me like a tail.
On the other hand, we need to have ETIQUETTE. You know how many of the users on the platform make DNI lists because they either have certain things that trigger them or they just do not want to engage with certain individuals and topics? Yeah, I know too. You know how 90% of the time those DNI lists don't do anything? Yeah, I know too.
Do you understand that the bigger issue is that we can't make a DNI list or "I don't want to see this topic" filter for blog posts? Why's that a problem, you may ask?
Let me put it bluntly and without a filter just so you can get an image of what I mean: I do NOT want to read about your experiences involving sexual assault and trauma. I do not want to read graphic descriptions of how it happened. I am really sorry that it did, but is this seriously the fucking place to post about it? I also do not want to read about your plan to take your own life tomorrow, and likely, neither do other people. Is the userbase of SpaceHey your online group therapy? Is SpaceHey the place to air these thoughts out in?
It isn't. I hate to break it to you, but it is absolutely not.
Besides just being generally unsettling and inappropriate to run into seriously personal and descriptive posts about things like sexuality, abuse and the likes, you are putting a target on yourself. Whether you like it and believe it or not, you posting about your trauma and about your problems and weaknesses is like waving around a bag full of money in a street that's known for robberies and mugging. Predators, whom I've mentioned earlier, will target you for something as simple as being their preferred age and gender. Giving them more sensitive information about yourself makes it so much easier for them to target you and change the way they act around you just to lure you in more efficiently and do actual harm- grooming, extorting, blackmailing, the likes.
Whatever happened to confiding in actual friends or writing diaries and seeking actual help? I know seeking actual help from something like a psychologist or therapist is not always an option, especially if you are younger, but there must be a better, healthier and more appropriate way to deal with your issues. Still want to get the feeling of posting online, specifically on SpaceHey? You may unlist, private or set your post to "Favorites Only" so that only the people that matter to you can see them.
You have to think ahead and you have to look out for yourself.
Less related to safety, but if you want a community that is active and healthy, you are a part of that community- therefore, you have to contribute to its good standing.
Truth be told, I've gotten fatigued with the website lately because every time I try to take my mind off my issues by finding nice blogs to read here, I usually only end up getting my eyes involuntarily violated and close the site for the remainder of the day. It's either same old "ERMMMM NAPOLEON/SPACEHEY BETTER" bullshit even fucking now- the discussion is dead guys, move on, or it's clearly troubled people using the blog section as their online therapy or diary website. Be honest- typing about your issues and throwing the blog post into the void does not make you feel any better (who would've thought), but it does make other people feel worse. If there's anything productive you can do instead of writing emotional and inappropriate vent posts, it's actually getting your ass off the phone/computer and working on your fucking self.
We all get stuck in ruts, we all reach periods of stagnation, we all face lows. Fuck it, life is sadly not as linear as modern society wants us to be. I've been feeling nice for the past 2 days and then yesterday my mood started to tank. That's just how it is. I have issues too. We all have them. But, fuck man, I don't go posting long emotional rants about my relationship and mental issues for teenagers and adults alike to see on the site.
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Like every other website, game or online community, SpaceHey has potential to be great. Really, it does. But, FUCK, people do NOT know how to behave online nowadays. And I can't entirely blame them. Lots of kids are just given devices with internet access by their parents and are given no warnings or directions on how to properly use their devices and the internet. So much about the internet is addictive and bad nowadays and we are all made to become more and more addicted to our devices and the internet to the point where it becomes our place to find entertainment, help, love, et cetera. It cannot be helped.
However, it is not an excuse to let people keep acting inappropriately. Call me cringe or sensitive for even writing this blog, but you should be held accountable for your behavior, regardless if it is online or not. If we treat everything as allowed and normal, the line between what is good and bad blurs. That being said, you should also be educated and kept safe online because it is not your fault if you get targeted by shady people.
If you are ever unsure about somebody's motives, always ask a trusted person. If you are ever unsure if the thing you want to do is the right thing to do, ask. Remember to just be appropriate, calm, and proper.
my stomach is upset i think i should eat something goodbye guhhhh
Comments
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Pot
THE ▌ᴀᴛҠӀИԌ▐ OF SPACEHEY
this is the first time i've logged in in years, i have been here since probably 2021 and grew out of this site over time.
For the record spacehey has ALWAYS been like this, the popular blogs section has always been terrible, there has always been shit stirring of all kinds. looks like exactly the same as where i left it. though now there are a bunch of posts about a competitor site which will probably die.
the main difference now is that i guess there isn't tons of people rushing here anymore so theres been somewhat of a plateauing of user counts.
one thing ive learned, architecture and community building is a delicate thing, if left neglected or badly done it can FUCK up a website. also CSS is cool as hell, to this date nobody had/has a cooler profile than me hehe
All of what you said is true. It's just annoying that despite so many complaints and so much awareness from the community, nothing changes.
css is really cool though i agree :D
by Spiral; ; Report
INFECTED
the amount of ppl ive seen on here talking abt...what u said, s/a or wanting to end it...is honestly concerning. nd ive found most of them are children too. Ó_Ò is this not like any other public social media...? ppl can easily prey on ur vulnerabilities too, nd i think a lot of ppl forget that. it's so saddening.
It is a rampant problem on all social media, yeah. Hence the SpaceHey/Internet in the title and the overlapping of the two in the post :P
We live in troubling times.
by Spiral; ; Report
December Winterwolf
Shoving these 2 kudos down your throat because sometimes... these things just need to be said. I consider myself at least a little more savvy than the average 13-year-old in terms of internet etiquette (...because I'm a full-grown adult now, I've had like 7 years of experience on the internet by now, if I didn't know any better I'd be absolutely cooked), but even I sometimes wonder if I should post about things I've been feeling lately in some amount of detail... thank goodness I never did. Sometimes I think just how lucky I was to not get exploited when I was still a young teen, I definitely overshared some things back then, but I guess gaining access to social media and smartphones in general at a later age probably helped, as any online interactions I had would have been under my parents' knowledge due to being on the family computer. I also read another blog a while back that talked about being incredibly selective about who you choose to friend, mainly with regards to friend hoarders though... and I've definitely taken that advice to heart, now I don't friend anyone or send requests unless we've interacted positively before, or if I recognise them from a group I'm in.
And yes, actively participating in the "SpaceHey community" if you will is something that people need to do to make it a better place. I myself am hoping to be able to blog something at least once a month to get started, and have been checking the forums every so often in case something interesting comes up... I've started to give up hope on the groups, but I'll just have to keep pushing. Better than just lurking 24/7 and posting something once every blue moon, haha!
Good grief, this may just turn into its own blog post if I keep this up, I'll stop here then LOL
P.S. I also read that blog you made on the scammers and predators and such... when you encountered those other interactions, did you manage to investigate with that throwaway Discord account and see what their real intent was? This is just out of curiosity, so no need to go into massive detail (stranger danger, after all).
//violently coughs out the kudos// thab.. k... yhOUH //coughcough//
Anyway, uh. Yeah, I mean. I also used to overshare online as well and, while I hated having my privacy intruded upon, my parents finding out about my posts and interests and confronting me about it to the best of their capabilities did help me get rid of the habit of posting every single thought online. But it's something that, like you wrote, has to be said otherwise it'll just keep happening.
I dunno though. I'm just another person online and I am very selective with the stuff I interact with and the media I consume. If I don't like it, I'll avoid it. However, if I CAN'T avoid it, then... That sucks. This is my loud complaint :P
We can hope this site will eventually get better - it's been improving! But more improvement is needed.
by Spiral; ; Report
Whoops, forgot to mention the DNI lists, here I go again
There have indeed been a few instances where I've found a cool blog post, commented something I feel is of value, then later decided "hey, I wonder what this user's profile looks like, maybe it's got a cool theme I like", visited their profile, and noticed - uh oh! I'm on their DNI list (often refers to age stuff, I've seen a few "no adults" points here and there)! At that point I will delete that comment I made, but it is quite frustrating when I go around commenting on blogs, only to later find out that the user doesn't want anything to do with me, and all I needed to do was check their profile or any pinned blogs the user may have. There is also the issue of people not going "aw man, I'm racist! That's a bummer, I was looking forward to having a cool conversation about trains with this person!"
I'm much more in favour of curating your own social experience e.g. blocking people you know you'll have a problem with if you ever strike up conversation. Perhaps the Tumblr blocking etiquette might be a bit much since any feeds on here don't take your interests into account and are purely based on number of clicks, but now that Goat seems to have come back on another account it's about time I actually start blocking people properly, despite any previous stigma I had with it in, like, 2022.
by December Winterwolf; ; Report
The block button, truly, is man's best friend in online spaces. Once people embrace it, surfing the internet becomes much easier for 'em.
by Spiral; ; Report
lia.X
OMG yes no one Has etiquette on here & the internet in general… ppl tend to forget they’re being social with mostly Real Ppl (&I say mostly bcz bots can also interact sometimes)
the bots are advancing too much ugghhhh...
by Spiral; ; Report
007n7
Thx :]
🫡
by Spiral; ; Report