oh. he had been praying using me. it wasnt the decline. it wasnt his fall from grace, when i had barely managed to achieve it for him, himself back to vice . my ever haunting spector following me still, the voice of my father in my ears, my mother, tommy. nae it was him consecrating me. his lips moving with reverence in the aftermath of pleasure, tucked into my thigh. bathed in grace. his breath a... » Continue Reading
I am so fucking tired of having to be Hywel. since being home weve had people around nigh constantly i just be me I have to keep the mask up, even if i could I dont get that fuckign choice the fucking mask kicks in and its like i,m getting puppeted and it FUCKING sucks. WE have to act or right and be in character and its fucking EXHAUSTING. even around the people who know. Not only does the shell ... » Continue Reading
i absolutely hate when people know my name and i don't know theirs which happens a lot to me bc i am visually recognizable??? i guess??? i've got frizzy curly hair and dress odd, wear the same clunky ass boots constantly, wear weird contacts sometimes so i don't really seem similar to anyone else on campus. But the issue is: a) mentally checked out 95 % of the time, either from exhaustion or ment... » Continue Reading
Ill be like "oh shit am i faking it? fuck what if im faking it for attention" like BRO??? who are you faking it for you've told maybe 2-2.5 people and only have continued talking about it with one who is ur literal partner??? whos attention are you getting alone in ur room at 3 am???? » Continue Reading
Hywel was just having a good time when shit hit the fan again and now were here trying to untangle eveyrything. im so tired of having to keep a level head sop we dont melt down. hywel is so exhausted by it, we want to be able to let go but second something happens suddlenly it all shifts and were here, cold minded with shaking hands. and its worse if im not told, there are things we are expected t... » Continue Reading