"watching a movie"
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Category: Blogging
I’m finally coming back to myself after a really scary psychotic manic episode. My mind was racing so fast it didn’t feel like mine anymore, I convinced myself I didn't need sleep so I challenged myself, how long can I take it. I was hallucinating, hearing sounds that weren’t there, and believing things that felt completely real at the time. It feels like I’m waking up after a long nightmare. Some... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Stuck in the psych ward, days feel slow and heavy, I have nothing to do but think. I feel useless, like i’m just waiting for meds, for time, for things to get better. Everyone says it will pass, but right now i feel bored, empty, and hopeless. Like i’m paused while life keeps going. I’m trying to believe this isn’t forever, but it feels like an endless cycle for me. XOXO CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
It’s strange being back here. Not scary, just numb. It’s like I’m watching my own life from behind a screen. Like everything is happening in front of me, but I’m just a spectator in the back row. I know I should be proud of myself for coming back. For trying again. For showing up even when my brain is running on empty batteries. But numbness makes everything feel pointless and heavy at the same ti... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Blogging
Today I went to Eger (my home town) with one of my friends. We decided to visit my great-grandma’s grave at the church. It’s been a while since I was last there, and going back felt kind of peaceful, but heavy. When we got to the church, it was so still. I stayed there for a bit, just standing, remembering. It has been 10 years since she is gone. The world lost a funny, strong and determined woman... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Yesterday’s workout was no joke. I went 30 minutes straight on the StairMaster. My legs were burning, but I refused to stop. It honestly felt like climbing a mountain, but in the best way possible. I was sweating so much. After that, I did some back and chest workouts, focusing on good form and control. The pump was real, and that mix of exhaustion and satisfaction afterward made it all worth it. ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I’ll have to stay longer at work for the next three days. Honestly, I wasn’t thrilled when I first heard about it, but I need the money. But today actually turned out great. The day felt light, everyone was in a good mood, and things just flowed. I didn’t feel exhausted or stressed like I expected to. If the next two days go anything like this, I’ll be so happy. XOXO, CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Today was such a fun little adventure. First, I met up with a friend for a quick catch-up and grabbed a matcha brown sugar pearl milk tea, it was so good. After that, I went with another friend to buy tickets for Mondocon. I’m can’t wait for all the cosplay, art, just dance and merch. XOXO, CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Blogging
Worked out a lot today. My body’s tired but in a good way. I am sloely going out from a depressive episode. That kind of ache that reminds me I actually pushed myself. I want to be toned, strong, and feel proud when I look in the mirror. It’s hard sometimes, but I keep telling myself every workout is one step closer. XOXO, CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
Almost lost my phone at work today. For a second I thought everything was gone, but luckily I found it. Then I had to go to the bank. So much paperwork, so much waiting... I was there forever. By the time I got out, I was completely tired. Just glad the day is finally over. XOXO, CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I’m with my friend right now and we’re just… existing together. Nothing loud, nothing crazy, just the quiet kind of hangout. We’re both doing our own little things but still in the same space, and honestly it’s the best vibe. No pressure to talk nonstop, no need to perform. Sometimes it’s just sharing silence, or a few random laughs, or scrolling next to each other without feeling awkward. XOXO, ... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I walked a LOT today, way more than I expected. At first it felt tiring, but the longer I kept going, the lighter I felt. My thoughts slowed down, my mood lifted a bit. By the time I got home, I was tired in a good way and so much calmer. I got cardio and a better feeling, it was awesome. XOXO, CoolMyMc Diamond » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I have two jobs. One every weekday, the other twice a week. On paper, it doesn’t look impossible, but with my mental health, it feels like dragging myself through mud every single day. I did this back in the day and I was able to do it... but now? I show up, I smile, I go through the motions. Inside, I’m barely functioning. I’m scared of burning out completely, but I don’t know how to stop withou... » Continue Reading
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