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★ evan ★
"mów do mnie uprzejmie!"
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★ evan ★ 's Blog Entries
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not my first, not your last / atlantic
Category: Writing and Poetry
tear apart every inch of this open sea set sail tonight to find you we’re both so far past our time due— it’s a shame you wear it well i’ve seen the hand that you’ve been dealt would you listen if i told you it’s familiar? can you show me where they all were and pretend i couldn’t tell? don’t bother asking me to leave you af » Continue Reading
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perspective
Category: Writing and Poetry
i'll give you neat, straight, and narrow if that's what you prefer. we missed the last bus of the night by at least an hour, so please just work with me; look me in my face when i tell you it's not on purpose, look any longer and we won't need words to make it clear that not a second of this was a choice. does that sound like a deal to you? because i'm on my knees hoping by the hundredth time i'll... » Continue Reading
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recital
Category: Writing and Poetry
i can tell from here you hope i'm kind enough to point out when you fall out of step with the rest of them. it's nothing, because you were never much of a dancer, anyways. they all know it, too, but it's not as bad of a look as they'll let on. some people really appreciate it--i know, there's a someone for everything, please don't bother. and please don't give me that look. you'll get your moment.... » Continue Reading
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machine learning
Category: Writing and Poetry
undeniable truth hitting me right in the jaw in the shape of the hundredth "you're just like me" so far--i'm not much at all except hardwired to mimic your every move. it started out fairly laughable, but now it's this or nothing, my secret weapon and my absolute worst trait all in one. please don't take it personally. i don't want to disappoint. » Continue Reading
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000/XXX
Category: Writing and Poetry
feel constantly drawn to those surfaces too soft to avoid, too barren, pulled taught. let hindsight take form in the way it all just raises up ( read: adheres, over and fucking over ) compared to the rest of you, in the way that it's never quite left. hindsight be damned, you'll never admit that this is what shapes you into familiarity. you'll never admit that you feel this is the closest you'll ... » Continue Reading
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95, 50
Category: Writing and Poetry
your hands and your hands and your hands and your hands and your hands, and mine juxtaposed against this highway, this sky, these trees, your ceiling the world can’t seem to fucking stand it—we’re laughing all night in their faces because we’ve found our place and it’s something they’ll never even know i almost can’t help but feel bad, i bet our laughs probably even sound a lot like theirs, too r... » Continue Reading
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sawgrass / nov 19
Category: Writing and Poetry
1. feeling forever stuck filling in the blank, hoping that i get it right this time, and 2. accepting my words as my own personal dogma i'm getting comfortable with the realization that most things are double-edged now. yes, i've taken this ride before. i'll try not to make too big of a deal out of it and just ignore the feeling that i'm running out of chances to start over--i've been told draggi... » Continue Reading
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terracotta tile sea floor
Category: Writing and Poetry
it’s all just how you wanted it, rip currents pulling and pulling. i can feel the eyes of your friends on the back of my neck, hotter than the sun. keep us close enough to shore for them to see the show. drag me under for long enough that they come back for more. standing fucking ovations. i won’t mind if you tell me if it’s better for you or them when the joke is on me, before or after the water’... » Continue Reading
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nostalgic books and favorite bands and never getting better
Category: Blogging
when i told my friends in middle school i loved perks of being a wallflower and sympathized with charlie i wanted to mean that in the "Wanting Cool Friends To Show Me The Wonders Of The World In High School" way not in the "I'm Scared To Hang Out With People That I Trust Because The Flashbacks Are Getting Bad Again" way. oh well. a year from now (just about) i'll be with my friends seeing my favor... » Continue Reading
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virtue of perseverance
Category: Writing and Poetry
this grand fucking theater with its magnificent stage and screen and full orchestra is burning down with actors and actresses alike still inside, carrying on as if it's just another busy night. it'll keep on going and going until there's no discerning even embers of bone and wooden stair rails, and maybe even after that. make an attraction of that, too, why don't you? i'm sure it'll draw someone i... » Continue Reading