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"losing my grip"

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self conscious about self awareness

Category: Writing and Poetry

Today, I suddenly remembered this minute event that happened last year. Even using the word "event" -- is a decision I might cringe at later -- I'm cringing at it now. I used to work at this sandwich shop. And I was good at that job, or rather, I was good at attaching my self worth to my work ethic. And magically (subsequently), a soul crushing minimum wage job had higher stakes than necessary. I'... » Continue Reading

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i rewatched spring breakers

Category: Life

I rewatched Harmony Korine's film Spring Breakers yesterday. I remembered being about thirteen when it came out, but I was wrong (looked up the release date prior to writing this), I was only about eleven -- that's kind of a startling discovery.  At eleven, I don't think I was reading into the film's philosophy. I'm sure I thought more about the female anatomy -- whether my boobs were going to be ... » Continue Reading

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in between dreams

Category: Life

I am scared of emails. I have stopped checking them. I think I've mastered the art of stealth that I can convince myself I don't exist at all. No one is contacting me (I refuse to read my emails); I do not exist (I am an irresponsible person).  I do exist. My name is on a list -- multiple lists -- on a class list -- muted group chats -- I'm sure I'm on record at the debt collector's. But I will no... » Continue Reading

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