03/12/2023

Well. Today I am incredibly depressed I cried from a story called "The Ballad of Ella" it's an extremely sad real story and it just reminds me how delicate life and love really and truly is. I'll never be loved by anyone in life and I'm just destined to be alone till the very day I die. All alone.

My last relationship with a girl ended with he just not speaking to me out of nowhere one day we were speaking and having fun together the next and the day after that she just ghosted me for what seems like no reason what so ever. I even waited a month for a reply but nothing, and that was all the way in January this year and still nothing. I don't understand what about me drives people away. Her and I would spend almost 24 hours almost 7 days a week just spending time together playing in our Minecraft world and then watching Studio Ghibli movies, it just didn't make sense how it ended. 

Every time I think of "The Ballad of Ella" I tear up and eventually cry it's just such a sad and tragic tale of love it makes me feel like my heart is getting ripped out and with feeling of it still it gets ripped to shreds. But the love shown by the people makes me feel like I won't ever have it and i'm almost 100% sure that I never will feel that kind of love nor ever experience physical affection in any form. But I've been rambling on about something no one cares about for long enough and I hope if anyone is reading this you have a great day and an even better life filled with love you share with someone extremely special.