running away

ⓘ these are not fanfictions! i'm just blogging as if i live in the pkmn world for anonymity!

sapphire ran away.

she still lives in Unova, and i in Hoenn, so I can't do anything about it except feel anxious. she found somewhere for herself she intends to move in soon which is just, so proud of her for doing what she needed to to stay safe. she called herself an adult now. she's a loser and i adore her. 

it did get me thinking though. we've both talked about running away before with nothing but our pokemon with us, especially as kids. for some reason, there's guilt that i haven't done it.

i considered, plenty of times. never went through. never even packed a bag. little ruby was painfully logical, thought through everything too hard. looking back I should have run. doesn't matter that Johto was so hot I'd get heatstroke on the streets and that there's no shelter in forever, no, past me decided to put my plan into action when i moved to Hoenn, and wow, who knew that it's a relatively small region and the police would catch me nearly immediately ESPECIALLY considering that i have no friends to run to?

I remember plotting to run away last year. it was a different time. I lived in fear that my father, norman, would hurt me. (if he finds this blog...) in my defense he certainly tried and threatened. so i stayed out late and came back home after doing everything else I could. id go to libraries and read book after book in the freezing cold. 

the only thing that stopped me from leaving was knowing if i was caught the police would take notice of my apparent eating disorder and put me back in the hospital. which they did. that's a different story.

it's seeing an action and knowing I could've taken it, i could've been free and independent and able to do whatever I wanted to myself. it's seeing sapphire be brave enough to do what i couldn't. 

if sapphire ever sees this (it's kind of obvious it's me if she reads this,) you're the sweetest, strongest person i know. stay safe <33