the news

dear diary. its been a while. things are just ok. lets keep it real just this once. new york is alright. i think i would enjoy it more if i had a better apartment. here's to next year. and next year is pretty soon. i'm 21 soon. my roommate and somewhat brother showed me the band At The Drive-In and I keep listening to their album. some songs stick and others not so much. i think, i want to like it more than i do. but sometimes you have to wait for it to click. the first 6 months of life here have been up and down. so much so that i don't know what outweighs the other. mostly up but then mostly down, too. i think i'm doing the right thing with my magazine. i guess i stopped writing about what i do in the day to day. but i write my own magazine every month about music and people seem to like it enough. bands send me their merch and stuff for free. and i talk to cool people and go to shows for free too. i feel pretty lucky on that front. i hope it continues for a long time. who knows what will happen. its too damn hot in my apartment, there's a downside. but i deal i guess. school is, just school. its funny because i stressed so damn much and worked so damn much to be here in the first place. it was all, why, why why, and, please please please. there! you have it, said the universe. now please leave me alone (impossible). this seems to happen quite often. i don't know how to feel about it. but anyways, i am more interested in other things than school. if i didn't have it i would probably go to shows every night. oh well. it keeps me in check (a direction in life if you will). its getting cold. today was the coldest. it will get even worse later. but not as bad as where i was before. grateful for that at least. inside too hot, outside too cold. i have no j*b still. the word only brings me curses. i should censor it. there, i did. yes. no j*b because it is hard to care. but my money slowly runs out... i recently came back from a thanksgiving trip where i was in a temperature regulated building. ah, the joys of life. one can only dream of such a thing here! i am ready to get out of this dump... though, i would miss my roommate terribly. he is a great sibling to have. oh, i have also started selling shitty portraits of people in washington square park for $1. i call it 'urchining' because i am the urchin. its very unglamorous but i get around $100 every time i do it, for 4ish hours. how unserious my life is. i have a few close friends now. some of them, the more i think, are kind of assholes. even so, i am unaffected mostly, so i keep them around.i have a tattoo of a dragonfly on my left arm. i'm still blond. ok, that is all for tonight. 30 nov 2023