Inadequate

“Can I kiss you?”

A question I want to ask you every second of everyday, I know that you’ll say yes, and it’ll frustrate me that I cannot nonetheless.

I hate feeling Inadequate. Makes me shake, my heart ache.

I am never up to the standard.

A never ending race, a record I want to break.

Inadequate.

I wait for an empty heart to hold my hand,

I know it will never come, but here I stand.

Try harder right?

Inadequate.

I’m treated better tonight.

I was taught, with the ones you love you do not fight,

Now they rip me apart like a flimsy kite.

Inadequate.

I make my pain pretty, 

Paint over the dark scars with pretty pink nail polish

Im still ugly, when will beauty be what I accomplish?

Inadequate.

More pink, i just need to get high off the fumes,

I need to be off my rocker before reality blooms.

When will my memory maze falter? 

I cannot forget because they always call “her”

Inadequate.

Break my bones and call it love,

Why is this the only example I can think of?

Now anyone that wants to take care of me,

I now am unable to give them their mercy.

Inadequate.

I’m searching for the feeling of flight 

I’m afraid of when my mind and earth inevitably reunite,

Philosophy clashes with reality,

It stirs and boils to become insanity.

My thoughts are not to be trusted 

My ideas are maladjusted,

They are unimportant, just like i was.

I was Inadequate.