Pakistani-Punjabi, and I'm gay.

You know I've been thinking to my self a lot...and I'm so blessed to have a total angel of a best friend (fallen one, but she is nonetheless, she's like Lilith from the Bible! Kicks assss) 

And more than that, I really do love my cculture. I'm pakistani-punjabi. I'm brown, basically. South Asian! And I'm proud! Shalwars, bright colours, being a ball of hair no matter what sex you are, and being genetically RRRRIPPED. Asides tearing my own ethnicity a new one, seriously! I love it.

But it clashes with who I am. What I am. I'm bisexual, and I'm trans (the emo thing too, but, less of that.). Being pakistani is heavily influenced by Islam, and I'm not Muslim. But I'm pakistani! I have South Asian blood! And it's hard to cherish that when I never feel like a "real" South Asian. Simply because of how I love, and who I am.

Sometimes I think "wow. I am completely disconnected to my roots". But that's not true. And my friend has proven it, she's amazing, I love her so much, we had an awesome talk about culture too! She's been more than my rock, my cave! She's also super insightful and smart. I'm no zombie, but I'd chew on her brains if I could. Hehe.

I wonder if, when I grow up, I'd I give myself the chance to, I'll finally be happy with who I am. I want to learn to grow comfortably in my body, my identity, the way I love and how I see. 

Being a teen sucks literally NEVER do this!!!