Coping with myspace and old music.

I haven't been okay, i got a new boyfriend but im scared hes not actually in love with me. Why am i scared of that? probably ptsd. i hate that stupid disease of a disorder. its horrible. I just got out of the shower about 20 minutes ago and im in my now clean room right after a meltdown that happened for like 20 minutes till my sister came in. All i want is coffee, a cigarette and a hug and someone to snuggle with while i sleep. i hope i get that soon. there's so many posers in the world its sad, like i wish that maybe these people would go back to conforming sooner. i cant believe he broke up with me, the guy i was with before? he was fucking perfect and nw all of it is ruined cause he never actually liked me. at least im in love now, but for how long will i be allowed to love him before he leaves me and i have to hide my feelings once again? im not sure but i hope its never. one of these days im gonna delete the stupid bullshit that is discord and instagram and im gonna get a flip phone and thats all im gonna use (aswell as my computer, never leaving you myspace...) because people are so fucking ridiculous it rots my brain from the inside out hearing people talk about things sometimes. anyways im probably gonna go to bed soon considering im tired and im sad. see you later blog.