Explaining my ndes in detail

In this post, I am going to explain some of the ndes I've had in detail. I've had 3 significant ndes that I can remember, and probably a few other experiences that could be considered ndes even though they're not significant enough for me to vividly remember. I'm not going to be including my salvia experiences because I probably wasn't in actual danger even though it felt like I was. I'm also not going to include the events leading up to my second psych ward experience, even though it could be considered one because I basically stopped eating and drinking for about a month.

The first nde I can remember is surprisingly my first experience with edibles. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger during this experience and I was probably just having a bad trip. I decided to talk about it though because of how profound and shocking the experience was, especially because at the time I wasn't aware that weed can affect people like that. This happened in April 2015 while I was living in San Diego. The first thing I remember from this experience is meeting up with someone who was supposedly my "friend" at the time. We got some oreo edibles that were supposedly 50mg each, although they were probably actually a lot stronger than that, which would explain why they affected me the way they did. At first we decided to eat only half, then we got on the trolley to go to a vegan restaurant called Native Foods. After about 30 minutes we didn't really feel anything, so we ate the other half. They kicked in as soon as I got done ordering my food at the restaurant, and they kicked in hard. My memory of what happened after is kind of a blur because what I experienced is literally what people call ego death. The first thing I noticed was the environment around me changing into what felt like something that was completely fake. I experienced intense visual distortions and what I call the zooming effect where I feel like I'm getting sucked into whatever I'm looking at, also my sense of time slowed down and I literally felt like I was dying. It was almost as if my life before that experience was some sort of dream and the universe was literally destroying itself and I found myself in another universe that looked almost identical, but I could tell something was off. I was barely aware of what exactly was happening at the time because I was so gone, although from what I remember I had trouble eating my food, and I was in this state for so long that the person I was with abandoned me. I'm not sure how long I was in that state, it almost felt like an eternity which is weird to think about, but this kind of stuff is known to happen on large doses of edibles. Eventually I came back to normal but it took awhile for me to completely come back to "reality", and even then I still felt high for a few days.

The second nde happened in July 2018. This was after I got heavily into researching conspiracy stuff to the point where I felt like my family were involved in human trafficking. I still get paranoid that could be the case sometimes, although when this happened evidently it was so bad that my family felt like they had to forcibly put me in a psych ward. They didn't tell me exactly where we were going on the way there, and when we got there the first 15 minutes or so felt like a normal hospital visit. Then out of nowhere, one of my family members said "we can talk anybody into anything" and my brother in law randomly started talking about red hats and red capes. This freaked me out because my zodiac sign is Taurus, so I'm connected to bulls in a sense and he was obviously making a reference to bullfighting. So I tried to escape, but I ended up being forcibly restrained by doctors who were supposedly trying to calm me down even though it didn't feel that way, and they injected me with haldol. This was probably the scariest experience of my life, even scarier than my previous edible experience and the next nde I will get into. I'm pretty sure they were actually trying to simulate a bullfight, even though they'll probably never admit that's what they were doing. I ended up being forced to stay there for about 2 weeks, and during that time I was met with abuse from the doctors, who said they were going to hurt me if I didn't take the meds.

The third nde experience I'm going to share happened on August 8th, 2021. During this experience, I almost died in the ocean on acid. This happened while I was on vacation in lbi. Basically what happened is when I got there I decided to walk to the beach and put my feet in the water. When I was at the beach, I was walking normally and then all the sudden there was this drop, so I fell in and would have died if someone hadn't saved me. This happened while there was a storm that had just passed or something like that, which looking back on it I probably shouldn't have been doing that while that was happening to begin with. Part of me feels like the government did this to me on purpose to try to take me out and blame it on drugs. I wouldn't put it past the government to do something like that, it's proven they have the ability to manipulate the weather so that's probably what happened. This experience happened a few months before my second psych ward experience, and probably contributed to the mental state I was in during that time.

Those are all the major ndes I've had so far. I'm sharing this mostly to help myself process these experiences and try to find some closure. I also figured it would be a good idea to talk about them in case anyone else who has experienced ndes can relate to what I've experienced.