loving me

i never considered myself the type of person that someone could love, especially men. probably because im not a good person and i realise that men arent as understanding as women. regardless, ive had lot of love confessions this year, which werent surprising, since these guys intentions were pretty obvious. to be honest, i always assume that a guy is in love with me when we get close and im right every time. its really dissapointing, especially when i realise that i was never seen as a person because of their romantic feelings for me and their need to get in a relationship with me. every time i hope that when i tell them that there cant be anything between us since i dont reciprocate their feelings they will be understanding and we will continue to be friends or at least maintain a good relationship and i always get dissapointed. they say that they understand but the next day they either start acting like some little bitches or continue to flirt with me. this shows that they never loved me as a human or as a friend. they loved me as a potentional partner. and its honesly making me lose faith in men in our generation even more. because even when i think that this time its going to be different, its turns out to be worse than it was before.

i guess im going to die alone.