女朋友.

I have been meeting many people throughout my life, I always thought that my sexuality was something I should constantly explore, and that is what I did.

But why don't I feel the same as when I fell in love with girls? I never took my relationships with men seriously because I never saw them as a safe connection, and to this day I feel guilty of experimenting with them knowing that maybe my heart always belonged to women, women who didn't love me either but with them I could be I, myself, could share things without having to put up an aggressive attitude or a shield so that no one would hurt me.

I hate that only men follow me, I hate that my relationship with women does not prosper when I have a lot to offer and I expect the same. I was never unhappy with my sexuality, but why do I only see a future with girls and not with men? When I look at them (girls) it's totally different, I feel like I want to progress and have a future, get married, things like that.

Today, I have a boy who is "interested" in me, I had several (I never considered them a good option and I keep them away), but this boy now, I am afraid that I will not be able to feel anything and that he will end up disappointing me because I don't see myself in the future with him, I'm very scared, I'm always scared of loving.

Why can't I be happy with someone? Why can't I just get into a relationship without thinking it will be temporary? Maybe I can't love men and women can't love me.

I'm too sad to stay here.

¿My girl?