november 6. 2023

hiii

today was my first day at work!! i think it went rly well and i bought a gloomy bear lanyard for my name tag!! i also got a gloomy waterbottle and a death note kira shirt! 

there was one weird moment where someone asked how old i was n when i answered (im older) i made a joke at life does get better when u get older, harmless n it shouldnt have started a conversation w the way i said it. it was more of those like matter of fact things while i was reading some documents. they started saying how hard their life was and trying to prove me wrong and then when i mentioned being around 25 they said their fried kts a day before their 25 birthday.. 

i am rarely speechless but all i could say was "obviously its not one size fits all and sorry that happened" like why would someone say stuff like that its like that vid w the girl who says her name and the other person says their relative w that name was a slave!! like what is she supposed to say to that?? 

i also didnt like the first one on one convo they tried to have w their new manager being that intense and trying to compare trauma and win??? i refused to share any info abt myself bc obv thats not an appropriate work conversation let alone right now?

im gna try to get on well w everyone n i think i will!! im feeling positive and excited. there are real goals here to work towards and actual opportunity to do management shit finally. i love working in leadership i want to be the guiding force and help ppl succeed so this is exciting.

also a note abt how ive been feeling w friends. ive been reassured for sure and im feeling better abt those relationships. i am ok being what they need. being around them is enough i think