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I almost pimped a pimp nigga this year. And he respected me for it. So much so that he started talkin abt babies, so I had to cut him off. But I had let him know, I felt like I lost my virginity again with him. Like my grown woman virginity or smth. Nigga changed my posture and my ass grew, both more than they usually have lol. Idk, with him it was just different. That had to be the most expressive sex I've ever had. I actually slutted out with this man. Why is this on my mind? Cus, I don't miss it or him. But some things are just...unforgettable. I've tried to forget it, but it still comes up.

Is it because I'm ashamed of it? lols I think so, because with him, the good girl mold I was raised in was officially broken. No return. I think it was with him, that I truly lost that aspect of innocence. But I know there's nothing to be ashamed of. Change is change, and so is growth. I just...learned something new from it, and my view was changed drastically enuf that I can never again see it the way I used to. Such is Life.