Day 13 of improving myself until I get a girlfriend

Everyone knows Kanye, right? I kinda hate him and I stopped listening to him a while back but I remember that tiktok trend when everyone used that song by Kanye that goes like "and I wonder..." for self improvement stuff. That's how today felt.

Ive been trying to educate myself on the Israel/Palestine conflict. I have a debate coming up on the topic and I started researching it passively by watching short videos and it wasn't until today that I really understood the gravity of this conflict. There's some messed up shit going on down there, besides the main war and I urge you to educate yourself and make your own decisions. I also just want to say that these words might ring hollow but my heart goes out to anyone in either Israel or Palestine, please stay safe out there. 

I should've left that at the end of the blog post because it feels wrong to Segway from a serious situation where innocents are literally killed to my hygiene section but I faltered a little on the hygiene front. I usually bath in the evenings, I bath every evening besides Friday. I never bath on Fridays, it's just a tradition with me since I was like 12. I was supposed to bath on Thursday evening but I came home later than expected and couldn't bath without getting sick so I skipped. Other than that, good hygiene.

I had art today and I had to unwind with some video games so I played a game called VA 11 ha 11 a. I'm not gonna bother trying to get that title right but it's a game that has been lying in library for a while and today I finally picked it up again just to relax after a long day. I played for like an hour and I played some vaporwave music in the background too. Later today, I'm watching Yojimbo too.

I didn't work today because it was a school event and there was no school work but I did have design class and I worked really hard in that class for some reason. I was tired but the desire to succeed compels me. I studied chemistry after design which was at 6pm.

I had a fulfilling diet, I even got some roughage in. I had 3 meals and everything, it was great

Now for the social section. This one was crazy, I surprised even myself. Last night I went to an award ceremony at my school and some of my friends got awards so today, I congratulated everyone who I came across (who got an award) and shook their hand, which sounds dumb but it's big for me. I was just so much more sociable today. I didn't just give one word responses and I even made small talk with this guy in my design class. The fact that I'm celebrating me making small talk should really show how bad I am at talking to people. I also greeted a girl, there are two types of situations where you greet someone. When you two are walking and your eyes lock so you greet them out of awkwardness where your eyes don't lock and you greet them because of your own initiative and I took the initiative and greeted this one girl who was new in my art class. 

This girl is literally perfect, I'm mostly into older women. Show me any women in her late 30s and I'm smitten. Show me any girl my age and my reaction would be much less extreme. beauty is subjective and in my mind, ugly girls or ugly women just don't exist (appearance wise) but like obviously there are girls I find attractive and when I say this girl is perfect, I do not mean lightly. She was the most girl (who's not over 30) I've ever seen. Besides looks she's also perfect, she talks about everything with such passion and enthusiasm, she's electric. She did say she has a boyfriend and honestly, I'm not upset about it. I'm mostly just looking to make more friends and of course she has a boyfriend, she's literally the perfect girl. I'm not trying to steal her away from her boyfriend or anything, just want to make that very clear. I know someone who got cheated on and it's really shitty to do that partner stealing/love triangle stuff. I'm just admiring her, objectively.

Thanks for reading this one. Given the conflict in the middle East, i want to urge all of you to educate yourself on it. Not just that but avoid neutrality in this situation. I won't share my opinions here because I want you to do your own research and draw your own conclusions. This is a really devastating situation and it requires a lot of nuance, people talk about wars like it's star wars, one side is good and the other side is bad. Real life is not like that, there's a lot more nuance. So when forming your opinions and deciding who to support, don't demonize the other side. Like if you support Palestine, don't generalize and assume that everyone living in Israel is evil, like I said, have nuance. There's a quote that I think of which is really extreme but bear with me. "White people still die at the hands of white supremacists". Basically, people die on both sides and both sides have victims, so when supporting one side, make sure to keep in mind the people who are suffering on the other side.