???

Hello, it's me..

So much stuff happened.

I am 19.

i honestly don't remember half of the stuff that occurred in my life.

i have had a partner for almost 5 months. We're happy, I think. idk

College's pretty nice so far. We just had a party last night. had a blast.

Also, i have a nose piercing now.....i want more

Nothing much has changed, and it's kind of disappointing. I want to end my life.

All of this got me thinking about the ifs and all the stuff that's wrong with me or how i think, act, and just..exist.

I don't know what to do or what to be.

i've been wanting to drown in booze and cry endlessly; all of this shit's tiring. sooo tiring, it's tiring to be me.

i'm too far gone now; there's so much wrong with me.

I just want to feel loved. I know there are probably people out there who genuinely love me, but idk, I just don't feel like I am most of the time, and it's my fault.

i lost myself

i think little me and the past me's very disappointed in me, just like every person i know..

i'm losing my ability to think and to function my brain in a way that is socially acceptable.

i don't think i'm ever going to be okay, and it fucking stinks.

i jsut want to be appreciatedb \

i want good attention; i've been dying to have it.

i feel like i'm slowly fading into the background. 

just a nobody

nobody nobody nobody nobody i hate this i hate this i hate this there's no one i can run to i feel so hopeless i feel so lonely

i feel so alone.

i hate it.