I'm Ashamed to Say...

I've been thinking about Willem Dafoe a lot lately...

I can't imagine that means my mental state is in a good place. Last time I was this obsessed with an old white man I was in high school, probably in the worst mental state of my life. I don't know, I've always used media consumption and parasocial relationships as an escape from my life. I thought I was in a better space, but I think the stress of school has been taking it's toll.

I ask myself everyday if I made the right choice going back to school. Why did I choose such an expensive school? I should've prepared more. I feel like there's no aids out there for people like me.

But, I also wonder will financial debt even matter in the future. Isn't our planet dying? Won't capitalism kill us?

So...yeah, I guess that's why I've been thinking about Willem Dafoe. Specifically when he was in The Lighthouse. That was a good movie. I recommend.