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pretty boring days recently, nothing more than the usual home-school-home thing.
most interesting thing there is now is that my teach crush came back from his sick leave so i guess that's fun,
i have been making plans to go out to the mall with my friends over the weekend but none of us have a free day due to either school or personal matters.
lately i have been feeling kinda lonely and ugly.
even tho my friends tell me i'm pretty i dont think i m, i just can't see what they see which makes me even more lonely,
i don't receive dms, people don't ask for my social media and i don't get stared at for more than 5 seconds.
even I don't know what i'm doing wrong, i lost weight, i wear makeup, i dress up real pretty and i look somewhat good and i still can live up to my old self who got dms every other week,
i don't fucking know how but when i was fat, had a greasy face with acne and dressed up like shit i had a boyfriend and lie 5 other guys trying to get with me.
its so fucking weird that now that i feel somewhat good about myself i get less love confessions than when i was 13-15 and looked like shit.
is it because i intimidate people now?
does my self love, makeup, clothes and good hygiene intimidate people ?
maybe that's why i don't feel pretty.
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Marsheul.xp
I understand your struggles and I feel really sorry for you. I see that life is hard for you currently, but you can always make things better! If you think about it for a while, reason of life is to give it a reason and to spend it well. When we fall into vicious circle we're starting to forget how beautiful life can be. To break out of the cycle you can try doing new things or change your routine, it helps a lot!
Moving to the next part - theres nothing wrong with your look, I'm sure about it! Every human is amazing and special. Just think about it, how beautiful it is to be alive, have the ability to feel, experience life and express yourself through look? Take a look in the mirror and try to notice things that you like about yourself. I know it's hard but give it a try! Try telling yourself that you love yourself, just like you would talk to other person. We all have imperfections and thats what makes us so fascinating and special!!
Remember not to push yourself too hard. You're amazing the way you are and theres no need to change anything as long as you feel good. If a change would make you feel better then of course go for it, but never change anything for somebody else!
Take care of yourself!! :D