oh. // TW

TRIGGER WARNING !!! mentions zoophilia, & suicidal ideation

ranting again hi blog. So, I was petting the dog, Johnny, and he’s a sweet little boy, and suddenly dad poked my side with a pen and said “sit up and stop molesting the dog” and idk if I got visibly upset or not, I tried to hide my discomfort and how disgusting and upset I felt, but idk if I hid it too well cause I went into verbal shutdown or whatever it’s called and spaced off becoming stiff…now I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m questioning if I actually am a zoophile even though there’s no proof of me being one but it’s actually so fucking scary and makes me want to cancel my subscription on life, I know how I want to do it now I’m just trying to distract myself so I don’t…I should be used to this he’s called me a dog molester before when all I was doing was petting the dogs and giving a head kiss to the dogs, literally just doing appropriate things and normal things that everyone does to their dog, and I bet he does it get me to stop cause he knows it makes me uncomfortable but he doesn’t care as long as he makes me stop petting the dogs, and it makes sense he would call me a dog molester/zoophile cause it makes me uncomfy and me petting the dogs really annoys him for some reason so he automatically goes to calling me something I’m uncomfy with to get me to stop cause I will ask why I need to stop petting the dogs if he tells me to stop