september 24. 2023

excited nd bummed today!!! going to complain.

today is the day of my first dnd game in 4 years im so excited. im playing a changeling monk (mercy) and shes perfect to me. she was revived by another mercy monk after her n her fam were killed for not supporting the goverment. we r playing witchlight so she lost her ability to feel anything other than physical damage. pretty fun!!!

im in a bit of a bad mood bc the guy ive been seeing has been doing a bit too much. it sounds crazy but let me give u the context ok. i love compliments so much !! i get like 2 or 3 a day unless i dont do makeup or anything and then i usually get none but thats fine i dont expect them n it doesnt upset me. this guy started slowly just complimenting me in the morning and then when he started doing a bit too much i told him i am often used for my looks ect and not liked for me.

when i said that to him he assured me that wasnt the case but then only complimented me physically again literally immediately. it didnt really slow down and when we met in person its been slowly getting worse. to the point where at least 5 or 6 times a day he will interrupt a conversation with a "ur so beautiful btw" or some other compliment abt my appearance.

there was only one time when i posted a pic of an outfit n he replied to that where a compliment makes sense. again if it was in the morning or at night or when he sees me i would love that amount of compliments but its literally all he says.

i showed him my instagram specifically for art and tattoos and he acknowledge it but didnt follow. he says my doodles are so cute and will say he loves how creative i am but only in the middle of telling me im "seriously so attractive"

today i woke up, he asked abt dnd and then wanted to ask me something which is basically "what are we how do u feel abt us" (again ive known him 5 weeks met him 3 times in the past 3 weeks and we have only hugged 3 times bc i initiated it. when i told him its way too early to ask tht he didnt rly slow down but he did apologize so i let him know that im older, i am not naive and words dont impress me he immediately started trying to convince me im beautiful again.

i am so close to done that i told him i knew i was and i believe he also thought that. guess what he decided to compliment. my creativity and cute doodles. oh and the fact that i have tattoos.

is it just me or does anyone else whos medium tattooed (70?) hate when ppl call them badass, call their tats sexy, ect?? like it makes me nauseous instantly.