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Today is September 22, 2023

We started clubs this week at school and I’m the president of Creative Writing. It was a little nerve wracking to get up in front of the class and speak, and I’m still not exactly sure what all I want to do with this class, but I’m having fun and hopefully they’re having fun too.

Today was a doozy. After lunch, I went to the bathroom and I was walking out of the bathroom and some kid opened the door and hit my finger REALLY HARD. It started bleeding and I thought nothing of it. I went to the office and got a bandaid, but as I was putting on the band-aid I looked down and my finger was bleeding profusely. I am a tad bit hemophobic, so seeing my finger dripping blood made me feel woozy. My vision started to go fuzzy, I had to lean against the wall so I wouldn’t fall over. I couldn’t focus on anything but the blood. I broke out into cold sweats, my ears were ringing, and I thought I was about to puke. As soon as possible I navigated my way to my desk and passed out for a few seconds.

Then a few classes later, I dropped my laptop and the screen broke so now I have to go to BestBuy and get it fixed. 

I also accidentally killed most of my mom’s plants. She told me to water them while she was gone, so I did, but I guess I overwatered them. I feel really guilty about this.

Just a little bit ago I had a pretty nasty panic attack about my future, and oddly enough I had a panic attack about having a panic attack. I am scared that I’m gonna be in a state of panic and guilt all my life, and that sucks. I want this constant anxiety to end.

I’m gonna take an epsom salt bath and maybe take an Advil PM so I can get to sleep at a reasonable time.


- L

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