Outburst about appearance

I can't say exactly when it started, but I remember it was when I entered puberty that it occurred I think. 

I started having problems with having a lot of pimples and with the covid 19 wearing a mask I think it just made the situation worse.

I never took off my mask when I go out, I started to feel very insecure about my teeth (which are separate) and my nose and I started to see defects, I never really liked the way I looked, I just wasn't that insecure, but when I was 5 I started to feel ugly and that feeling kind of persists to this day.

It was very difficult for me to accept how my hair is, it is wavy (and anyone with wavy hair understands what I mean, this issue of it being in between, It's not just people with straight hair who judge, even people with curly hair judge too, they say that their situation is worse than ours (I'm not saying not be or be) there are also people who swear that all you have to do is comb it straight (which is a lie) there is also the issue that one side is more wavy than the other and such) But nowadays I've gotten used to it, at least I don't cry anymore if I see myself in the mirror. 

There are other issues with my appearance that I prefer not to talk about, but I also don't like pimples, I think this is something even kind of obvious kk. But I never got to hate myself because of them, well, that's what I thought. 

Today I was looking in the mirror after washing my face, and I started to notice that my face looks like a strawberry because of all the pimples I have. I have it on my chin, on my jaw, on my forehead, on my nose and I also have it on my back, but in terms of aesthetics it doesn't bother me, I never wear anything that's noticeable then. This started to make me think, I always try to use different products to try to get rid of pimples, but they never go away completely, and today in particular I started to notice how ugly it is. I started to feel something kind of disgusting (??) something just ugly.And it's just started to affect me a lot now, I'm feeling so ugly, and I hate feeling ugly, I was starting to like the way I looked more, but now I'm back to feeling... ugly :( 

This is just a little rant I was keeping to myself so, yeah. Sorry for the bad English, especially now that my vision is blurry. 

I really despise the word ugly :( 

I hope you feel better than me, drink water. 

Kiss Kiss from Shin