bad summer

Since summer is almost over, I thought I would write down my overall feelings for how it went. It was not great.

June was fine for the most part, I made a big thing that I hadn't made before, which made me happy. But I also knew I was avoiding other things that I should have been doing.

The biggest thing that made it bad was the project I had to resubmit in mid-August, and the amount of work I had to do for it stressed me out for a month and a half.

That was my July and half of August.

After I had submitted the project, I could at least take a deep breath and relax since I didn't have an immediate deadline coming up. At the same time, I think I had a minor depressive episode, because I felt demotivated, and I didn't enjoy drawing almost at all. I went a while with just doodling on my sketchbook, which is very unlike me. Usually I like to be working on at least one digital drawing that I can post online.

Anyway, I also went to a psychiatrist and started taking some medication that should hopefully help with my anxiety. It still hasn't made a difference I have noticed, but I am going to remain hopeful and wait for a little while longer I guess.

Another thing that put me in a bad mood for the majority of the summer was that I didn't get to see any friends except one time. All three months and I met up with one friend group once. There's a friend I didn't get to see at all, although it's partly my fault because I was too big of a coward to send her a message. And, well, she didn't send any messages at all.

Other than that, I've made some progress with standing up for myself against mum, which is a first for me. But it's been a very scary and difficult process.

I'm very fearful of the academic year ahead. It's the last year of my Graphic Design degree, and I'm doubting myself. I don't know if I can do it.