local 18 year old girl complains about no longer being able to dissociate behind the wheel

I might kind of hate it here

at least with the lifestyle i'm supposed to be following

I miss being able to just go out on my own

Drive somewhere quiet or somewhere loud and just walk or sit and exist

I havent felt like a person in a while

its worse here

I try to read but my brain doesnt hold onto the words

I try to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth

I try to see but my eyes wont focus on anything

I try to stand but i'm gravity pulls with more than just the weight of the Earth

things will get better with time

i just need to Adjust

Adapt

Evolve

This is meant to be a new chapter

of course i cant read through it before its done

but my hands cant even grip the pen

and i'm writing in invisible ink