#INSANITY

"what if i'm nothin' but a cardiac arresting sweetheart?

a half run over cat, left in the street

and you're the maggot cravin' rotten flesh

left outside in the heat"

-dazey and the scouts, maggot

i am SO TIRED of everytging. why in the hell do ppl have to be so horrible??? i don't get it i rly don't. i loved my friendfs sm. i loved the music they introduced me to and the games we used to play together nd when we'd get absoloutelty fucking wasted n just laugh together. i want to go back to early august where everything was perfect and my friends didn't betray and hate me and my bf wanted to be with me n we were so so in love. 

i miss him sm and i want to cuddle with him and i want things to go back to how they were before, i wanna be loved  in the way that i used to be. ;-; i know our love was a bit toxic but idc i want it more than anythin else in the world!!

been chainsmokin more than ever before my lungz r gonna GIVE TF OUT

all i do is wait for a text from him, every time we call my heart sinks bedcause we don't end it with an "i love you" anymore, we don't send those cute heart android automated bunny stickers in sms. our birthdays r on the same exact day so this year we were gonna do a joint bday party... not anymore :( 

he always asks me if i need anything but dude all i need or could ever want is for things to go back to the way that they used to be. ahe always asks if i have any questions and rn its only 'YES, DO U WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER NOW THAT U KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD U WAS A TOTAL LIE?'

but i don't say all that bcs i don't want him to feel pressured. at the end of da day its his choice and i can't do anything but wait 

how r we supposed to "just b friends" when our best friends fucked me over and convinced u to break up w me BUT UR STILL ON GOOD TERMS W THEM? yet claiming ur on my side??

"they didn't mean any harm" my ass, but idc i still would get back with u if u asked, despite everyone telling me not to, despite everytone telling me this may actually b a good thing because u wasn't right for me.. i don't care i want and love only u

im sory for all the sadposting lately im rly goin thru it.... .. but hey thats what a blog is for rite??

also my IMS r always open i want to make friends on here 

below is REAL IMAGE OF ME (lolz)