my skinsuit and me

I hardly feel human at times, I feel trapped in my skin. Not that id ever want to leave, I'm grateful for my gifted suit of suppression. It just gets lonely in here by myself, I do not fit in with others very well. I'm the oddball of oddballs, I feel beneath it all. The gum that is stepped in attracting those by being an inconvenience of sorts. I feel somehow like an outsider with the outsiders themselves. I'm not sure what has to happen to try and replicate someone like myself but I feel like it hasn't been done another time before. And I am not putting it in a sort of way that I'm somehow more "unique" then others but everything I am is unlike everyone else. I'm a rusty machine implanted in human skin, My programmers forgot to code me to be the human I was meant to mimic. Controlled by flesh like all others but with the brain of a lazy robot, built for nothing else but suffering. The experiment of madmen to see the reaction of a machine with no purpose, no way to communicate with others like himself. I rock with eyes and ears but no mouth, no body of my own. All those who wish to understand its suffering but pushed away by its self made blindness fueled by misery of its uncontrolled predicament, A clown without its makeup. A soldier without orders to follow. There is no ending to its suffering because it only knows to please all those it sees, A humanish doormat only seeking love but with no way to achieve it. It slowly ticks on waiting for its expiration date. God it could only come so soon.