i live in fear

i got a message from sidney yesterday. he contacted me with facebook messenger. it’s the first time he had contacted me in a year. he asked if i was doing okay. i said i was and asked how he was doing. 

his response was simple: “not good.”

“what happened?”

“james and donika left me. i’m all alone and sad.”

“oh i’m so sorry,” i tell him, internally cheering. this man is an abusive creep. i’ve been waiting for donika to leave him since i first met sidney. 

then he explained why: “all i said is i thought maybe james work at winn-dixie.” this is immediately followed by “would you wanna be my girlfriend..”

my eyes shoot wide open. i knew he was attracted to me. i knew when he bought that second property. i was coming home late one night in my truck that i called faye. he asked me to get in his truck so he could show me the property. i told him i was tired and maybe i would go another time. 

in the morning, james told me that they had gotten kicked out once because sidney had attempted to cheat on donika with them. donika is james’ mother. 

i took screenshots and sent it to the group chat with james and scrubby. 

i then begin to type. “i’m sorry. i’m not looking at the moment.” 

i press send, but it doesn’t go through before sidney’s next message does. 

“i know i’m gone a lot.. but have 2 vehicles and a home to your self.” at this point i begin to text james directly. 

“help. i scare.” 

no response. 

sidney sends an “ok” and i shoot back another apology. i take another screenshot. 

i attempt to contact james again. “did your mom leave sidney?”

there is no response. i wait an hour before trying again, this time through james’ phone instead of a messenger. 

“bro”

“yea?”

finally. a response. 

“did your mom leave sidney?”

“yeah”

“when? cause like-“ and i send the screenshots again. 

“today. we’re staying in mississippi right now.”

“i’m scared”

“block him. he’s drunk and acting stupid. he did that to himself.”

“what happened because i think it’s more than he said.”

“he said i was no better than harris and told me all kids of bullshit about not being his friend.”

“what the fuck? at least you’re out of there. also, i’m freaked out that he contacted me for the first time in a year to ask me to be in a relationship with him.”

“he’s a gross pervert”

“yeah. i’m glad your mom finally left him though.”

at this point, i am searching facebook to find his account and to find out how to block him. 

“yeah. we’re staying at a relative’s”

“that’s good. i assume you had to leave some things behind, though?”

“yeah, but we’re coming back to get our stuff when he leaves.”

“okay. good. at least you won’t lose anything to him.”

but truthfully, i worry. what will happen in the two weeks he is here? he could burn their things. throw them out. sell them. i don’t want to tell james any of that. i don’t want them to worry. but i do. 

“hell no. i’m taking my stuff”

“amen”

“can’t believe he texted you”

“neither can i”

“that makes me so sick”

“same”

“stay safe bro”

“same to you. i’ll let you know if anything else happens. and you keep me updated on your end!”

“thanks bro and i’ll be sure to do that”

i find his account. it takes me a minute but i manage to block him. facebook give me ä confirmation:

“you blocked sidney leblanc. blocks are profile specific and apply individually. this won’t apply to sidney leblanc’s other profiles, but we’ll limit some of the ways he can interact with you from his other profiles.”

i take a screenshot of this and send it to james with the caption “success”

“that makes me feel a lot better,” they tell me. 

“yeah, but i’m still nervous.”