my cats favorite activity is torturing bugs

she is currently at the moment pouncing on my blanket torturing a moth that flew in. her soul is that of a hunter...

anyway, hi, hello. i'm planning on taking my license test this week! no appointment, gonna do a walk-in super early even though that sounds like shit. because if i fail i'm just gonna show up every day until i get it.

i think part of why i've been struggling is the lack of support from my family, and that's not in regards to just mental illness (because i'm very private to them about it, my fault). specifically my mom. everyone else has their reasons (they have like, jobs and lives lol) but my mom is as inactive as i am and she just doesn't put the effort into being a mom even when i try to meet her needs. all she has to do is sit in the car while i practice... oh well. i feel confident enough that i can get it even without driving every day....

but still, knowing she just opts not to help me even when i ask just stings.

in other news, i got a $300 dollar sewing and embroidery machine for $50 dollars. it hasnt been used much by the looks of it, it just needs to be opened up and cleaned since it was sitting in a garage for many years. big W for me.

i've also been job hunting STILL! it's really tough! every job around me is like manufacturing for the military. or cars. or cars for the military. whatever. why can't i find a job that isn't degrading? i really hope i get hired by the petsense thats like right near my house. that would be "dope"

and has anyone else survived the heat wave? this 110 degree heat? how am i supposed to sit outside and smoke in this heat? i mean. Um. yeah the tolerance break thing hasn't been going well. it really helps me sleep and my mood. but after having covid twice (NOT MY FAULT MY FAMILY IS A BUNCH OF SPREADERS...) smoking weed is a little. ouch.

what else to say... i'm writing a mini dnd campaign for my boyfrien to play and i might write a monster of the week campaign too for More people to play. wwaaaw

i really hope i get hired for a job soon and i finally get my license i am going poopoo bonkers. AND I NEED TO BUY INFLATABLE PLASTIC BULLSHIT OR I'LL DIE!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T LET ME DIE!!!!!!!

i hope everyone is doing well. i say that at the end of most blogs i think but i mean it u know... Shit is rough rn. but yknow as much as i am a serial complainer i try to stay positive despite it all. i wanna be here to listen to songs i like and draw cool pictures and all that... i'm thinking about going to some local trans group therapy sessions i learned about once i get my license. it sounds nice.

but ya hope you're doing well this lovely (checks date) saturday!!!! evening. come outside with me and lets share a Puff or two...