Breaking the record.

Yesterday, I broke it. I'm clean for.. a month or so but i just made myself bleed again. Its not for wanting to die but rather to take the pain away. I want to speak but wherever i go, I'm the wrong—So i can't really justify and give relevance or validation to why I'm sad. I'm maybe really just dramatic or because I'm still young, i shouldn't feel sad for such small things such as being rejected and even thrown out. The cuts didn't hurt.. it stings but the strings in my heart felt like it would collapse in a few more pulls. Will they regret and finally hear me out when i can't hear them anymore?