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why am i so useless. i do think at times that peoples lives would just be easier if i was dead. or at least gone? like i know everyone says that but i think in my case its genuinely true. i get told i dont do shit around the house n that i need to do better often. at times i feel like id be more useful living out of my car. i think its true
frowney face
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FRIDAY
i cnt even ever do enough with my boyfriend. why does it allways seem like im never trying hard enough even though its difficult to even just live every day. this world is not BUILT for me it is built for the exact opposite and i will rot underneath the boot of it because i am useless. i should go drive actually, and sink my car into a lake. drive off of something really high. go off of a bridge. maybe then illexperience thrill and be a real person
i dont even ever want to die i just dont want to live like this anymore where i am so hurt by everything around me. why canti just be normal. blue is the only one that can see into my broken hurt soul and even he cant care enough. what can he do. im just speaking gibberish atp
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FRIDAY
why is every second of living just AGONY? this is so cruel. why do i have no confidence is something i have never been able to answer . maybe i just have to accept that i am broken as a person that something isnt right with me, never will be. oh well oh well oh well
ill never be saved. i want to jsut cry all day all te time. why am i here. why am i always under peoples judgement. i feel like a shattered, broken person. any time something happens i want to die. i dont think thats normal. i really dont. i want to shatter. i dont even want to go back downstairs. ill never eat ever again. something is wrong with me my brain isnt a brain its a spiral!!!!🌀
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FRIDAY
it doesnt even matter. who cares
i want to shove a stick down my throat and die
by FRIDAY; ; Report
depression is actually hell n idk what to do about it. why cant i just live with my bf. why cant i just live down there. im obviously just a leech on my mother im surprised she hasnt kicked me out yet. im afraid of that because i dont know where id go to be honest with you. i know my bfs family would take me in any time, i know i have the money to be stable, i know i could be stable, but i am not. i am not
by FRIDAY; ; Report
thats what makes this feel so unfair tbh. oh welll. im gonna get to work doing chores. i wish i was dead!! i want to be far away from here. it even feels like my moms bf hates me at times. i dont think im hated, im just treated like i am
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boo hoo
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