08.13.23

Nothing much happened today. Woke up late, 12pm or so, by the sound of chickens. I wanted to go out today, but i woke up too late for anything, and just didn't have the energy.

I wanted to do something with my friends this week, found a interesting antique store nearby. But they all have jobs and cant do anything this week. Annoying. I might go with my father, or ask L or A to go with me. I think ill ask A when the next time shell be free is. I still owe her like 32 or 15 dollars. She said yes lol. This Wednesday. I want to wear my sweater out, since i have a bit of a hard time finding good outfits-- and i feel that it looks good on me. My last outfit when i hung out with A was super super cute, and i want to keep this streak going. But, its going to be 88* degrees at most during that day. So that's out of the question lol.

I cant stop thinking about the dream i had. Like the vampires library, i cant stop thinking about it. I cant help but look for similarities and parallels to them in my everyday life. I think that's one of the reasons why i wanted to go to this antique store so bad. Look for something that would remind me of my dreams, since they both have a timeless or vintage theme/element to them. My dreams haunt me. I've gained sudden interest in tarot card readings recently. I don't understand them very well, and don't believe they can predict things at all. I don't believe in the supernatural element to them at all. But what i do believe, is that they give good advice. Maybe not always, but they get you thinking. They make you (or at least me) think about my situation, think about how i should handle it and what i want out of it, and the advice that the cards have given me. 

I've noticed my attention span isn't very good recently. I try and watch videos on how tarot works and i cant get through them without skipping through and eventually clicking on the next. I'm also having that issue with more interesting, Nexpo videos I've been trying to watch. I always try and multitask in anyway i can. Doing one thing just isn't efficient enough. Typing this out while watching mystery videos, playing games on my pc while having ads play on my mobile game for ingame cash. Drawing while watching a video, two tabs open at once-- the video and the reference image. Its a bit disheartening that i feel i cant focus on one thing at a time. I feel it makes me efficient sometimes, but most i feel like a product of technology. Or something like that. I feel like that joke of todays toddlers needing three screens at once, or the tiktok format of having some reddit story and some slime video underneath it at the same time. 

Even though i did not have that same dream again when i slept in the shed last night, i was able to remember (at least some) my dream, which is uncommon for me. Im going to continue this experiment tonight, and go to bed at around the same time i did the first night in hopes that it'll work this time. Good luck to me.