How?

How can I teach one to love me without first teaching them how to suffer? Who am I if I don't love? Who am I if I don't give affection? Who am I if not a stepping stone for others? If not a chapter in their life, they were the whole book to me. No one can ever genuinely want me, can they? I'm too fragile, too fast, too much. She smokes, that's not very womanly of her, she's too straightforward, she's too caring, too loving, too clingy. She's not open enough, she doesn't show her emotions enough. She's possessive, jealous. Why isn't she jealous enough? She has many male friends, she would probably cheat looking at the number of men around her. She has mental issues, she constantly tries and constantly fails. No one and everyone have seen me, but yet none has seen through me. No one wants to be able to see through me. I'll never be good enough for anyone to genuinely want me. 

I constantly go back and forth with being wanted for who I am. They say someone will accept you for who you are. But will they really? How certain is it that they won't run after knowing me? How do we know they won't think I'm too much? I write not because I have a lot to say, but because I have a lot to hide. One could even question how much my closest friends know me.

I can live with knowing that I don't see anyone genuinely wanting me. But sometimes I want to feel being loved and wanted with the utmost care and genuine feelings.