8.6.23

The sleepover last night was HILARIOUS. L was wasted and kept laughing so hard, which got me laughing to the point of tears. W was there, i was pretty pissed about that. He's not that bad, but just kind of a bother. When me and G were joking around and G said id be her cuddle buddy for the night, M was like "Yall should kiss.". Which i got pretty pissed about. I was pretty tipsy by this point and glared at him and told him to shut the fuck up or something. It *really* pissed me off. If there's anything that pisses me off the most, its boys who think girls kissing is hot. Like ill pumble you right now shut the fuck up. He also stepped on my foot once with his shoes and when i was like "ow wtf" he just looked at me and did a finger gun. Like you're not fucking ted nivison, apologize to me or something?? God, he just pisses me off. I also started my period that day so i was extra easily agitated. AND all the while, everyone was spilling their drinks on the carpet constantly lol.

Some other people that i didn't know came. L wrestled with K's little brothers. L and i did shots with K's mom who was wasted by the time we were done. Some banana type drink, it was white and kinda tasted like nail polish? i don't know much about alcohol. I do know though that white claws are pretty shit, and i had about three or four of them that night. For my first time with alcohol i was pretty okay, tipsy at most. I could feel my emotions slip out easier and i blurted out things before i realized what i was saying-- but for the most part, i could regain myself if i tried. When me and L and G when to sleep, i had to get up to go to the bathroom and immediately collasped, it was so funny, i wasn't expecting that in the slightest since i felt okay. I had to hold onto the walls when i went up and down the stairs since i didn't trust myself after that not to fall.

When we actually went to sleep, me, L and G all slept on the same bed. "three peas in a pod" we kept repeating. Mainly the whole night L kept spooning G, which was a bit weird considering they both have s/o's, but G has absolutely no interest in L, i know that for a fact-- and L has known G since elementary school plus he was drunk so ill mark it up to him just being overly comfortable around her. I really like physical touch, its not very common in my household. so sleeping next to someone is foreign to me, and something i like. I was looking forward to falling asleep next to G, as weird as it sounds. We did fall asleep together a bit, which felt very grounding for me. Ive never done that before and it was nice to feel someone elses warmth-- though that sounds pretty strange i mean it in a normal way. Anyways. I might go back and edit that stuff out later.

K brought it up later after L left how he kept clinging to G and G said how L wouldn't let go and it was a bit strange. He's a strange but funny guy. On another note-- K also has two black kittens, they're so small and cute. I'm super used to my giant dog, so their tiny faces was funny to me. Its easy to forget animals can be so small when you don't come up to them face to face. 

I tried a lot of new things today, alcohol, shots (which is again just alcohol), sleeping next to someone. I met a girl i haven't seen since middle school-- i always assumed she was mean because she was tall and pretty, but she was nice and kind of remembered me even though we never talked. She seemed okay, though it was hard to get that prejudge out of my mind.

In the morning, we watched The last of us while everyone slowly got picked up, i was the last one to leave. Rewatching Tlou gave me a lot more time to focus on the tiny details, and i watched the autumn scenery, which reminded me that fall is coming for me too. Though since the state i live in kind of has messed up weather due to a lot of colliding wind currents or something. (our weather station has a joke that our state has actually 12 seasons. Were coming out of summer right now, then it'll be false autumn, then second summer, THEN actually autumn.) Anyways, it'll take a lot longer for it to become actually colder here, (southern state issues) but it was nice to see the visuals and actually *see* them. I think due to the autumn feeling that i have today, ill replay night in the woods again. I've tried filling up Mae's journal all the way, but the problem is that if i miss one day then i have to reset it ALLL. And there's a LOT of diallage. I think when i move out, if i ever get a cat ill name her Mae.

When my father finally picked me up at around 3, i got him to get me donuts, then we went shopping super quick at the grocery store near my highschool for bacon and stuff. One time last year, they found a gun stashed between the shelves there. It really freaked out the manager i heard.

I'm not excited to go back to school this year, I've missed the majority of school my last three years, and this year will be my last so I'm set on having good attendance. Or at least a healthy attendance. I want to actually *be there* this year, to not fail and to be with friends. I just don't know long ill be able to keep that up without getting exhausted. I think ill go down to bond lake later today, if its not too late. Though it probably will be.