8.5.23

online diary. I'm waiting for the time to turn to 7. That's when I'm going over to K's house. I brought a gift for her mother. I hope she will like it. I got her some nail polish, mature colors that i think she will like. I know she doesn't like yellow. I like white, but i don't think it looks good on my nails. L and G and maybe J will be there too. L wants to drink a lot while hes there lol. But we don't know if K's mom will let him sleep over, considering the fact that L's a guy and all. But K thinks shell be drunk enough not to care. I've never met K's mom before, but she don't sound like an alcoholic or anything, it is her birthday after all, and she sounds like a pretty laid back mother, she does weed and stuff. So i think its reasonable to get drunk on your own birthday.

My parents are nothing like that. my fathers from a very Christian household, which kind of led him into being kind of rebellious. He used to smoke, but other than that he hasn't done any other drugs that hes told me about. Im sure he did a fair amount in his time. But now he doesn't do anything. My mother, i wouldn't be surprised if she refused to do a lot of that stuff when she was in college, just not really into it. Me and her are more alike than im happy to say. I tend to avoid her. She makes sounds that i hate, and her skin feels bad. One time when i was in middle school, she touched my nose and i got so upset, i scratched the skin off my nose bridge and had a giant scab there for weeks. I hate it just thinking about it. 

Anyways, We're all going to be staying in K's basement while we sleepover. Her walls are white cement blocks, and remind me of the walls from my highschool-- which i think will really throw me off while were down there. I think ill want to watch harry potter while were there, i assume K has a tv down there somewhere. She really likes harry potter, and ive only watched up till the third one i think. But idk, ill let them do whatever they want honestly. I wouldn't push anything on them.

I think im happy about this idea to start an online diary. My journal is filling up and im scared for when it will end. Its my fathers book, and theres little sketches and numbers of his etched into the pages here and there. He doesnt know i took it, but he has two others, and hasnt mentioned it going missing at all, so either he assumed i took it, or doesnt really mind that its gone. Ive had it for a little bit over a year now, and the spine is worn down for sure. On here, i can rant and write for however long as id like, without worrying about filling up the pages too much. Its a relieving feeling. 

Today, my dad is folding flyers for his band, and packaging CDs to send out to local radio stations. His band has only a handful of monthly listeners on Spotify. Its good music. He sings in it.