goals

Hello friends fans and pals.

Yesterday was my very first psychiatrist appointment. It went well! It shocked me at first because I had thought that I was prepared enough to know what I was expecting, but I guess my thoughts on what people who work in the mental health field are supposed to act was vastly different than how they are. I was expecting a soft spoken woman but she ended up yelling through the entire appointment. It ended up being more fun and comical than it was scary though. I learned a lot of things and I think i have a better idea on whats going on with me. She was also very nice and said a lot of nice things to me, including how my job doesnt deserve me because the company i work for is worthless, which i think is really funny but honestly shes kind of right. 

Officially, I have borderline personality disorder ! I am glad i am able to say that without feeling weird about it. Ive been prescribed some mood stabilizers and i guess we will see how that goes... I also need to find a therapist, so i think ill do that soon. Im not sure how regularly i will be able to see them because my work schedule is very erratic, and changes daily. I think ill figure it out eventually though. I feel very good about things. Im a little worried that im taking things a little far though, my psychiatrist said i should do something that makes me happy every day, so ive just been watching stuff about pokemon ever since. IDK, its fun though so i guess thats all that matters. 

I am going to try to be better to myself from now on, which is something i have been trying to do for a while now so i hope it'll get easier. Im very happy to have my boyfriend and my best friends with me. This blog entry is kind of everywhere since i am kind of just rambling but uhmmm yeah:)

8/2/2023