going back

352 as i write this monday

my birthday is nearing, and it is terrifying.

i’ve not been writing a lot because… i don’t know, i was tired. but i’m here again, which i guess is somewhat sad and equally depressing. 

my life has been going good, stable. i lost some more weight, i think, and my parents are getting worried about it. but it’s nothing some fake-o verbal abuse can’t fix. other than that, my news always revolve around food.

my birthday is nearing and all i want are two things: 1) to get a book i lent back, and 2) to not eat at my birthday. i fucked up, horrendously, with those plans, but i cannot back down, so now i’m trying to get out of my plans while blaming someone. i’m close to fighting with my best friend so i can make it work, but i don’t know.

anyway, a good news is that i matched on this dating app with an ex-girlfriend. i am definitely getting stabbed if we meet, but i’m willing to take the risk. i’ll see how that goes.