cleaning, hoarding

having hoarding disorder run in the family worries me. i think I've done good work to not pick up any hoarding habits. unfortunately my dad and sister both hoard. luckily for them, i am an avid fan of cleaning.

i worry though, is my generosity being used? I don't want to be the sole cleaner of their spaces. I'd rather they learn better habits for themselves instead of waiting on me to clean after them. at the same time, seeing mold and rodent feces etc in their spaces makes me so anxious and worried I can't help but clean for them.

my sister is a lot more appreciative, my dad just gets angry... i cleaned his room today a little. there was mold growing on the baseboards...and who knows the last time his sheets were cleaned. i wish i could see it through his perspective so i could empathize deeper. i know having your space touched and changed without consent is very stressful..but not feeling any appreciation....i dont know. he's always complaining about his health...

oh well. I don't mind. at this point I'll take it all as learning experience... i want to eventually get a job as a cleaner. not a janitor, someone who cleans houses. I'd love to help other hoarders.

nothing special to add after this.... Its hot as fuck today. and of course I've eaten a lovely burger for dinner


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