Soo um I Don't know what to call this

So I have been thinking a lot since I don't know how long, in the back of my mind I can imagine someone saying "oh great they're thinking" Lol. Well not all the thoughts are bad so that's a start if there even is a start to this :^

 So I don't think I've mentioned before but I have two pet mice that live with my mother and I haven't seen my mother in who knows how long. And I'm starting to feel worried for them not that I don't trust my mother or anything just I'm starting to feel that.. I'm becoming the parent that isn't there :/ And I'm starting to feel really awful at the thought of it since my parents are the same way. And I don't want that for them I want to be there for them, I want to be able to take care of them, I don't want to become my parents I guess is what I'm saying. And I know that they have very short life spans and I want to make sure they have as much joy and love they can possibly have and currently I can't do that. I hope my mother is doing that for them but still.                       I'm also a little worried for my little half siblings also but I think that's just older sibling protectiveness. But I am also proud of them both ^^      ummm I'm trying to think of anything else to say (⇀⁠‸⁠↼)    My mind went poof mostly because it's one in the morning. Oh yea I'm not on here that often sry about that. I think I'm gonna start trying to be on here more tho. Well I think I'll probably go play some videogames then crash, bye bye 👋