champagne & it tastes like coca-cola

dear z,

when juniper and i lived in that second floor apartment for 10 days, there was a morning i came across the poems she wrote about claire. & the thing is, this wasn’t the only time. i saw, on several occasions, poems she wrote about claire & they were about how she still loved claire & how she was hurt by claire & there was that one poem she showed me that was about how she felt bad about breaking up with the other boy.

& i’m glad i’ve seen them & i’m glad i can carry the weight of her heartbreak with her but i just feel, always, like the other woman to these people. 

and so i sit there & numb myself & try not to think about it but too badly.