7

recently ive been streaming & i think its been helping with my mood. its still hard to take care of myself but gaming & talking w friends & talking to chatters is so fun & i dont feel as lonely anymore. i just wish i had more irl friends atp. i wish i could physically hangout w ppl. one of my online friends invited me to some parties bc i said i was interested & ill try to see if i can actually go, but i think itll be hard since she lived 3+ hrs away from me >.< which SUCKS btw. i need ppl that live @ MOST an hr away from me bc i want to be a little parasite friend. when im in a normal headspace i remind myself that ppl will put up w a lot so i can be “annoying” (im probably not that annoying) & they wont do anything like what ive imagined in a worst case scenario @ all. but when im in a rly bad headspace its hard to think like that bc im alone & basically isolate myself. anyways, im rly trying, im juss so low energy these days bc i barely move (i genuinely dont have a lot of muscle anymore bc of this ). welp, ill update my blog once i feel something again