getting out

what is getting out? to me getting out means leaving a place that makes you unhappy. usually this is a place you live in. i don’t think the place must be small or absolutely horrible unlike what most people think of when they think of this concept. of course, most people who talk about getting out usually come from small or horrible places. however i think the place you leave could be very big, or a paradise to somebody else, but if it makes you unhappy to live there, then you are essentially still getting out. doing so might not cure anything - perhaps you will find displeasure in the next place and then the next. however there is no use staying in a place that makes you unhappy, even if such place has what makes somebody else envious that they don’t live there instead. as humans we simply want what other people have, so much so that we gloss over every single bad thing that might come with that situation, just because it’s different and in turn better than ours. believe me, that person probably wants your life too. but i guess i’m wrong, i guess most people don’t go around wishing they had other peoples lives, because most people don’t want other peoples lives, they just want very specific and certain aspects that would implement in their own lives in very specific and certain manners, all by themselves. and so they don’t happen. but we still wish they did.

i myself am getting out soon, or so i think i will be unless many many people try and stop me, and even then i will probably still find a way because i would rather go through it than die wondering about it. that is what i tell myself anyway. there is a very big chance that i am committing an action that will handicap my life forever, most likely monetary wise, as every single person i’ve talked to about it has warned me and every single search on the internet has also warned me and explicitly matter of factly has told me that it will be so. to these claims i must avert my eyes, simply because if i don’t go through with the stupid little plan then i will have nothing else to do for quite a while, if a year is quite a while anyway. it is for me. the matter is none to be very sad about, because it’s a nonexistent problem. or at least, as nonexistent as problems can go, because it has to do with large amounts of money that people will not pay just because of my existence and want of them to do so, which is fair of them to announce, but annoying for me to experience. because sure, besides getting out is settling, but settling is not a thing i would like to do ever, unless i find it good and comfortable, which i’m sure i will in time but don’t at all right now.

settling is the opposite of getting out, and it is what most people in this life do, except the extremely stupid ones and the extraordinary ones. which one i am, well, that is not up to me to assume. but settling is smart and very easy to do, and it is smart because it is easy, not just for you but for the people around you. because when you tell the people around you that you will settle, they will simply sit back and sigh with relief and say something like, thank you for not being extremely stupid, or at least they will think it anyway. the act follows like this: you are in one place, and you do absolutely nothing to leave that place at all costs because it is safe and familiar to you, so much so that you tell yourself you love it because of these characteristics, and then you live and die in it all the same. yes, this is safe and smart and cheap for everyone around you, and will not put you in crippling amounts of debt, so it is the best option surely. i myself know many people like this. of course, there are also the people that do this in the places they reside in because they have no choice, monetary or otherwise. to these poor souls, which may include me, i say, they deserve better. but to those who have the choice and choose not to… well i guess there goes my speech about how we all want what we can’t have. 

there are also the people who have told me the decision i’m making that will ruin my life will actually not ruin my life at all, and that it will be a great adventure and it will enrich my life greatly, and to them i am indebted to extremely because if i didn’t have their extreme trust in the world and the universe and the fact that they can just say these nice things to me just because it doesn’t actually concern them or inconvenience them at all, i would have nothing but the negative comments, and that would not make me very happy. i have also noticed that these people that say the nice things are the people whom i wished i had the lives of the most, or wish i was integrated in the lives of the most, and to be honest i kind of am anyway, even if it’s not as much as i would wish. these people are all also in much better financial standing than i am. oh well. perhaps one day i will wake up in a world where everyone loves me enough to forgive me for all of the misfortunes i’ve caused them, and they will say sorry for doubting you, here’s $100,000, and you will be okay i promise. unfortunately i do not live in such a world, and oh well, because if that actually happened there would be no character development and everybody would think i was a fraud and a nepotism baby and whatever else people think about 20 year olds with $100,000 at their disposal. and this character development as i say, is essential. it’s essential, but unfortunately i feel like most people that go through it to be extraordinary, and then get out, are the people that have no idea it’s happening. they too settle. they settle until something comes forth and sweeps them into their extraordinariness. it is us, the ones who don’t settle for even a second, and are aware of this strange phenomenon, that get thrown out of the game as quickly and eagerly as they go in it. and even knowing this we choose not to settle because the idea of settling is so bad in our brains. because of this we are doomed. it’s a sad thing, to understand something but choose the worse way just because it is faster and easier in the short term. and all at the same time wishing we were the extraordinary ones. i cannot tell if we deserve it for our foolishness or we deserve pity for even being granted the opportunity to overthink so much that we become conscious of the cycle. to this, the average settler will say it is stupid to think of the way one thinks to be so profound it’s different than other peoples, and to that i say thank you for not giving in to the pretentiousness that we spew into the world. 

back to the character development - perhaps we are not doomed. perhaps in our quest to not settle, we learned to settle for not settling, therefore giving us the character development needed for extraordinarity. maybe it was all the sleeping and waking up and sleeping and waking up and living life anyway despite the unhappiness - the settling - while dreaming and thinking about not settling that gives us this loophole. and maybe it’s not a loophole at all but just the natural way of life and living. and in that, there is still room for extraordinarity instead of stupidness. and reading this one might be wondering, if they are the former or the latter. to that i say, it doesn’t matter what i say, because even though i made it up, i really wouldn’t know and i really don’t think my personal opinion would matter anyway. if i said the former, one might feel joyous depending on what they think of me. if i said the latter, they would just get angry at me, or sad, or both. i think we must decide this for ourselves, if we even care to do that at all. it is not a very important thing really.

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