29/6/23 Helphelphelp no one can help me but myself and I already fucked it all up

Today I had lesson with my classmates. Bus super slow, they're on it and there was the crowd and the caffeine from the energy drink was wearing off and when I got to my stop I had to sit down and do some heavy breathings 

Two years

Another two years like this in class 

And it's all my fault, I did all, it was my fault, I should have communicated better and I should have not closed myself up just cus I felt depressed I fucked everything I ruined everything everything around me is burnt and I can't do it I don't know if I can do another two years like this I deserve to be alone and this friendship will never get repaired and I don't even fucking like them that much but I'm so alone I feel so alone I can't do it I can't hear their voices and their laughs I wanna rip my heart out I can't do it this is too much I can't take it I can't do another two years like this I can't I can't I can't